Glass House

I sent you a letter containing 'my beliefs'
That I didn't write
Didn't edit
Didn't care about.

You believed me
Trusted my experience
Obeyed my every suggestion

And where are you now?
In the Hell
I designed to look like Heaven
Reading my letters
Respecting my position

As I sit
In the window,
Watching from behind glass
Other's lives fall apart.

Alone

Lost.
I was alone.
But, I wasn’t.
I had my fears.
Them, and the owl.

I’m sure they didn’t leave me on purpose.
They said they would wait.
It’s true, that they had smiled.
But it was kindness, I’m sure.

Not so.
I am here.
In the dark.
They Always said I had too much of an imagination.
At times I am sure they thought I was crazy.
Just because I could see the truth and they couldn’t.

It was not my fault their hearts were black.
Unable to see the pure.

Yes, I am different.
No, I am not crazy.

I am alone now.
In the dark.
Outside.
They didn’t wait

I suppose I got too strange for them.
I don’t blame them for being what they are, though.
We are all strange.
In some way or another.

It is quiet.
I have never been afraid of the quiet.
But I am afraid of solitude.

It is the first time I haven’t felt His presence.
No one is watching me.
And that thought is scarier than if someone were.

Where do I go?
Nowhere, not now.
I have come to realize,
That I cannot move.
They left me.
All I had in the world.
There is nothing left to protect me.
And I am terrified.

How can I sleep?
How can I not sleep?
Fear, I was abandoned by what I knew and loved.

Crazy?
How can I be?
I saw what they did not.
Yes…and no.

Aren’t they real?
Now I am unsure of what I have known from infancy.
Angels, Demons.
God.

They said I was unnatural.
A mistake of nature.
But I knew, that I was more.

And now?
Rejected.
Left alone in the dark.
Alone (excepting the owl).
With nothing.
Because I was the only one.
Who could really see.
And now…I can’t.

Secret Heart

These secrets in my heart
These forbidden thoughts in my head
I hate that he can never know
Never fully understand.

I still love
I still hope
And I’m still crying out for justice
But these secrets
They can only be mine

This dream I have
This hope of restoration
To ones I left behind
I hate how it’s my secret.

And I still try
Still hold fast to the memories
I still cling to what is no longer mine.

Will these secrets in my heart never dissipate?

Blowing In The Wind

What are you whispering?
I’m straining to hear you…
But your voice is too low.

What was the last thing you said?
My memory must be bad…
‘Cause I just don’t know.

Get near the one who is speaking.
Sit close to the one that matters.
Who matters?
Why should I care?

What is the meaning of life?
And in who is it’s origin?
Listening to the wind…
Are my questions being answered?

Stripper

Emotion
Consternation or Consultation
When will I give in?
How long until the human soul breaks?
My breath is caught within me…
As my own body I give away.
Was this what I assumed it felt like?
My heart no longer beats…
As I run after the love of another.
Should I cater his every need?
Oh, he loves me, no doubt…
Or is there?

Laughing Matters

What is death made of?
And what is life like?
Who stands in between…
On the thin line,
Separating known from unknowable?

Gone…can life be gone?
In an instant,
With no show,
No ceremony…
No goodbye?

What did I do wrong?
What could I have done right?
When will these questions;
Worth only life and death,
Be answered?

Am I truly…left behind?
Never to catch up,
With the one gone on before me?

I don’t want hope
In this surprising time of grief.
All I feel is pain
Where is my relief?

Acceptance With Joy

Time flies when you don’t want it to.
When you were gone,
It was all I could do to try and speed it up.
Where are we going?
How exactly are we getting there?
I keep trying to plan this path out.
But it’s not working so well.
I dread having to miss you again.
We’ve been through so much already,
It’d be nice if it just ended here.
I’m tired of struggling.
Of making alters and laying down my will.
The promise doesn’t seem to get closer.
You are here.
You promised you wouldn’t leave.
But…what if?
I am scared,
I’m admitting now that this confidence is a mask.
Let me lean on you.
Push me up this hill because I’m tired.
It feels cruel now
But in my heart I know its what I need.
Hold my hand.
I need to learn not to push you away.
The Promise that sorrow and suffering
Will transform into peace and joy
Will come to pass in time.
‘Till then teach me to be thy handmaiden;
“Acceptance with Joy”.