A Poem

OK, this is a poem...sort of... i wrote that is, well kind of silly. but you can take from it what you want.
Jessi

Has anyone ever felt like they are so over come by emotion they just cant breathe?
like no matter how much you want to feel better you just, don't?
have you ever felt nothing?
been completely numb?
that's where I'm at right now.
i go back and forth between feeling too much and feeling nothing at all.
did you ever wonder if you did this to your self?
if maybe you CAN help it, and you just don't know how?
Did you ever think that there could be something deeper?
I live by the rules of cause and effect,
but i cant figure out either of mine.
Did you ever wish to die,
and then realize you wouldn't be there to enjoy the death?
did you ever wish you could live better,
and then realize you can, you just aren't?
i think that's what I'm doing.
I'm unable to figure myself out.
there's something deeper, yes.
the cause...the effect.
is it me?
it it them?
is it us?
how can i stay like this?
how can i not?
show me how to change something,
without hating the fact that I'm changing.
did you ever ask questions,
that seem to lead you nowhere?
and all the sudden...i cant breathe.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Painting Pictures of Egypt

by Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here

I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me

Either way

And the places I long for the most

Are the places where I’ve been

They are calling out to me

Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith

It’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable

When you move so much

And the place I was wasn’t perfect

But I had found a way to live

And it wasn’t milk or honey

But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible

I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy

To discard

I was dying for some freedom

But now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the Promise

And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

If it comes to quick

I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

And if it comes to quick

I may not recognize it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us, its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give others permission to do the same. As we are libarated from our own fear, our presence automatically libarates others."
By Marianne Williamson
from "A Return to Love" (which i have not read)