A Poem

OK, this is a poem...sort of... i wrote that is, well kind of silly. but you can take from it what you want.
Jessi

Has anyone ever felt like they are so over come by emotion they just cant breathe?
like no matter how much you want to feel better you just, don't?
have you ever felt nothing?
been completely numb?
that's where I'm at right now.
i go back and forth between feeling too much and feeling nothing at all.
did you ever wonder if you did this to your self?
if maybe you CAN help it, and you just don't know how?
Did you ever think that there could be something deeper?
I live by the rules of cause and effect,
but i cant figure out either of mine.
Did you ever wish to die,
and then realize you wouldn't be there to enjoy the death?
did you ever wish you could live better,
and then realize you can, you just aren't?
i think that's what I'm doing.
I'm unable to figure myself out.
there's something deeper, yes.
the cause...the effect.
is it me?
it it them?
is it us?
how can i stay like this?
how can i not?
show me how to change something,
without hating the fact that I'm changing.
did you ever ask questions,
that seem to lead you nowhere?
and all the sudden...i cant breathe.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Painting Pictures of Egypt

by Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here

I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me

Either way

And the places I long for the most

Are the places where I’ve been

They are calling out to me

Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith

It’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable

When you move so much

And the place I was wasn’t perfect

But I had found a way to live

And it wasn’t milk or honey

But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible

I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy

To discard

I was dying for some freedom

But now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the Promise

And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

If it comes to quick

I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

And if it comes to quick

I may not recognize it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us, its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give others permission to do the same. As we are libarated from our own fear, our presence automatically libarates others."
By Marianne Williamson
from "A Return to Love" (which i have not read)

My Favorite Poem

Wind and Window Flower

By Robert Frost

Lovers, forget your love,

And list to the love of these,

She a window flower,

And he a winter breeze.

~~~~

When the frosty window veil

Was melted down at noon,

And the caged yellow bird

Hung over her in tune,

~~~~

He marked her through the pane,

He could not help but mark,

And only passed her by,

To come again at dark.

~~~~

He was a winter wind,

Concerned with ice and snow,

Dead weeds and unmated birds,

And little love could know.

~~~~

But he sighed upon the sill,

He gave the sash a shake,

As witness all within,

Who lay that night awake.

~~~~

Perchance he half prevailed

To win her for the flight

From the firelit looking glass

And warm stove-window light.

~~~~

But the flower leaned aside

And thought of naught to say,

And morning found the breeze

A hundred miles away.

Isaiah 35

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad;

the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the Crocus;

it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing.

The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,

the majesty of Carmel and Sharon.

they shall see the glory of the Lord,

the majesty of our God.

Strengthen the weak hands,

make firm the feeble knees.

Say to those who have an anxious heart,

"Be strong; fear not!

Behold, your God will come with a vengeance,

with the recompense of God.

He will come and save you."

Then the eyes of the blind will be opened,

the ears of the death unstopped;

then shall the lame man leap like a deer,

and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.

For waters break forth in the wilderness,

and streams in the desert;

the burning sand shall become a pool,

and the thirsty ground springs of water,

in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down,

the grass shall become reeds and rushes.

And a highway shall be there,

and it shall be called the Way of Holiness;

the unclean shall not pass over it.

It shall belong to those who walk on the way;

even if they are fools,

they shall not go astray.

No lion shall be there,

nor any ravenous beast come up on it,

but the ransomed shall walk there.

And the ransomed of the lord shall return

and come to Zion with singing;

everlasting joy shall be on their heads;

they shall obtain gladness and joy,

and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Isaiah 35

Don't Let Go

Don't Let Go

josh groban

I can't understand it.

The search for an answer is met with a darker day.

And we've been handed these moments forever.

But I'm reassured there's another way.

You don't have to close your eyes.

There is room for love again.

Ease the pain to realize All that love can be.

Forced apart by time and sand.

Take a step and take my hand.

And don't let it go.

Never let go.

Broken, once connected,

We were so strong and so blessed in a simple way.

So don't let me go it alone.

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below but me.

Face the truth to realize All that we could be.

Torn apart by rage and fear.

Hold onto what brought you here.

Don't let it go.

Never let go.

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below.

Don't let go.

Thoughts

Thoughts
If I hadn't been born,
If I had never existed,
If I had just gone along with it all,
If I had been ordinary,
Would they remember me?
Or is it being different that makes people remember?

What is normal?
What is extraordinary?
Where is Love?
Where is hope?
Am I left to my own thoughts to figure it out?
Are my thoughts capable of knowing?
Or is this all a dream?
Maybe it doesn't matter... at all.

If love is something that can be bargained with,
If Knowledge isn't all its cracked up to be,
If dying isn't the end,
Or even if it is,
What does it matter?
Are we worth it?
Is hardship worth it?
Is being nothing,
Really something we want?

What is normal?
What is extraordinary?
Where is love?
Where is hope?
Am I left to my own thoughts to figure it out?
Are my thoughts capable of knowing?
Or is this all a dream?
Maybe it doesn't matter.

If love is pain,
If hope is believing,
If we all are extraordinary,
And there is no such thing as normal,
If this isn't a dream,
And Life does matter,
Then I'll take the chance,
That God exists, and i choose to believe,
It doesn't matter if people remember you or not, only that God sees you, and remembers.