I had just wanted to have a break from it all. I had just wanted the heat from careless moving bodies to erase the pain in my head. It was all just supposed to be a way to relieve stress. To cast off worries and unfulfilled wishes onto someone else’s moving silhouette. To become free in the small space between twirling skirts and beer bottles. That was all. I wasn’t asking for my life to become perfect after that night, or for it to fall apart. I had just wanted one night to be.
I didn’t tell anyone my name. I was myself. I was nobody, someone who has come from nowhere and is going nowhere. The girl next to me wasn’t curious to find out who I was, and I didn’t even care what her first name was. We were just two people laughing and pretending that, for a little bit, life outside this small space didn’t exist. I left her without asking for her number. I had nothing to offer her in return. We were just dancing partners. That was all.
The night was suddenly over. I had started to walk home when I remembered the worries. How could I have forgotten those? They quickly returned, and I found myself wishing that the girl was still next to me. She would have been the perfect body to throw these away on. But I didn’t know her name. She didn’t know mine. We were stuck in this small space of namelessness forever.
The car hit. I forgot why I came here. I forgot what I had been looking for. What were worries and unfulfilled wishes to me? I watched her spend hours over nothing and nobody. I watched her spend energy and emotion over no one. Didn’t she know? I had left my name behind long before meeting her, and it didn’t matter anymore. She didn’t understand. She would later return to the small space between skirts and beer bottles, and try to forget her own name.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
You Can Catch Me
I am an infectious disease
Children are taught to see me
As an adulterer
As evil
The words "immoral" and "sinner"
Twist themselves around their minds
Like a serpent waiting to swallow its prey
I am a sickness
Children are taught to stay away
Lest they catch me
The gross sickly feeling
Enters their stomachs
And threatens to betray inner hatred
Preachers sell "cures"
Parents punish infected children
But there is no end
To the endless parade of "homos"
Children are taught to see me
As an adulterer
As evil
The words "immoral" and "sinner"
Twist themselves around their minds
Like a serpent waiting to swallow its prey
I am a sickness
Children are taught to stay away
Lest they catch me
The gross sickly feeling
Enters their stomachs
And threatens to betray inner hatred
Preachers sell "cures"
Parents punish infected children
But there is no end
To the endless parade of "homos"
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Religious Sexuality
“You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the Lord your God” (New Living Translation, Leviticus 18:4). This passage in the Bible goes on to explain the expectations for sexual purity and to point out any sexual “sins.” Christians often point to this passage when teaching new believers what is and is not acceptable sexually. This connection between religion and sex is not limited to Christianity, it in fact can be found throughout the world. Religion and sex are two of the most fascinating, universally discussed topics in the world. They are particularly interesting when they are discussed within the context of each other. Often the religious perspective on sexuality cannot help but reveal itself in a serious or heated discussion of these subjects. The complexities of religious standpoints in relation to sexual expectations and actions are numerous, but they are inseparable in any serious comparison or analysis. Many people try to separate the two, so as to keep their perspectives on each one completely independent of any outside influence. However, religion and sexuality are so connected that they cannot be separated.
One argument against the relationship of sex and religion is that no matter what people believe theologically, they will act based on instinct and momentary desire, therefore removing the connection between the two. Though this argument is true in the respect that religion cannot always dictate the actions of followers, it is not taking into account all factors of religious observance. Most religions allow for faulty behavior or sins with provision for forgiveness. When a person sexually goes against what their beliefs regulate, there is usually room for forgiveness in order to remain within the faith. In Christianity, if a person commits a sexual act contrary to their religious convictions, asking forgiveness from God and having a truly repentant or sorrowful heart can easily rectify this occurrence. The apostle Peter said, “Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (New Living Translation, Acts 3:16). A similar provision is made within Buddhism. To Buddhists, the belief in karma is foundational. If an act of sexual sin creates “bad karma” for a person it can be undone, in a sense. According to author Daniel Maguire, “Performing good deeds can build up so much good karma that it simply overwhelms the bad karma…” (65). This type of provision for promiscuity or sexual “sin” is true of most religions in the world, therefore connecting sexuality and faith even by a lack of observance.
Another argument commonly used against the relation of sex and religion is that within a specific religion, one can often find many different sexual practices and expectations. Many times this is the case because the religion itself promotes varying viewpoints. For example, Universalism is all about living to be true to oneself and what is personally best for a good life. This belief encompasses all aspects of life, including sex. In an article titled “Religion, Morality and Sexuality” a representative of the Unitarian Universalist faith says, “God does not expect people to fit into the narrow cultural norms of… sexual orientation” (Riley). When this is the case, religion and sex are connected because of the many variations available within a faith.
This can also be seen within Judaeo-Christian beliefs and denominations. In stricter more traditional denominations, specific guidelines regarding sex are essential to being a Christian. These guidelines guard sexuality from a variety of unacceptable sexual practices. One such practice is having sex prior to marriage. Denny Pattyn, a youth pastor in Pittsburgh, runs an organization dedicated to convincing teenagers to abstain from sex until marriage. Pattyn states that “[faith] is absolutely critical. Teenagers themselves tell us how important religious values are in making decisions (about sex) of this magnitude” (qtd. in Friedman 778). Traditionally, another unacceptable sexual practice is homosexuality. Don Obland confirms this by the comment, “Most Christian orthodox religions which openly condemn homosexuality, categorize the homosexual ‘condition’ as ‘objectively disordered’ because the ‘same sex’ aspect...does not satisfy the biblical anthropology of human sexuality” (110). However, in more liberal denominations practicing varying views on sex is becoming more acceptable.
Maguire says that “a [religion] that looks on women, like Pandora and Eve, as sources of evil is going to have trouble justifying having sex with them; it may conclude that only reproduction can justify sexual collusion with women. That is exactly what happened with Christianity” (39). More liberal views within Christian denominations are changing the way sex has traditionally been viewed within the church. No longer is sex always being viewed as “bad” or “dirty”. Though the skeletal religious views are the same within Judaeo-Christian circles, they do leave room for multiple interpretations that can sometimes greatly affect the relationship between religion and sexuality.
Though all of these arguments against the connection between sexuality and beliefs are common, the most frequent (as well as the most misinformed) is the argument that religion simply has no effect on sexuality. One of the thought processes behind this argument says that religion only affects our relationships with people; it cannot affect sexuality. Half of this is at least true; religion does affect relationships. But as a result, it also heavily affects sexual relationships. This is done both with specific guidelines for sexual conduct as well as through a lack of specific instruction on the matter of sex.
One example of a religion with specific guidelines regarding sexual behavior is found in Islam. Islam is a religion that has very specific rules for their women’s sexual conduct. Raphael Patai, author of The Arab Mind reveals, “She is supposed to have sex relations only with her legally wedded husband. Moreover, a woman must preserve her sexuality (i.e. her virginity) intact until marriage” (133). She does so in order to protect both her “ ‘ird”, or sense of honor and conduct, and her male family members’ “sharaf”, or their sense of masculine honor (Patai 128). Sometimes within stricter Arab Muslim circles, female circumcision is one way of guaranteeing virginity before marriage. According to Patai, “Its rationale is that it either prevents the girl from wanting to engage in illicit premarital sex (in the case of clitoridectomy) or makes it altogether impossible for her (if infibulation is preformed), until her vulva is again cut or forced open” (131). This religion is one of the strictest when it comes to sexual conduct for women, and yet one of the most lenient in regards to men sexually. Patai confirms this by the statement, “when a man marries he is not expected to refrain from extramarital sexual activity” (133). There is little or no room for women to be forgiven for sex sins. Within traditional Islamic societies, they are imprisoned or killed as a punishment and a means of saving the family reputation, while men need only to repent (Patai 133). Though this level of severity is rare in more liberal Islamic circles, sex is usually a very religious issue for Muslim women.
Another example of sexual beliefs influenced by religion, is found in China. The influence of Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism provides for an interesting view on sexuality. The Chinese hold the belief that sex is good and that it is not only used for reproduction. This belief was influenced by a blending of all of the religions that dwell within China. Maguire comments with the statement, “One of the purposes of sex was reproduction, but pleasure and health are on an equal plane. Sex is good for you, and the Chinese religions celebrated what Shang calls, ‘the joy of sexual interplay’” (83). In fact, the idea that sex was a “valued gift” led the Taoists to develop “the art of the bed chamber”, which linked religious thought with foolproof sexual strategies (Maguire 83). Because the religions within Chinese culture viewed sexuality in such a positive light, sex became an important part of male-female relations. Commenting on the Chinese view of sex, Maguire says, “Obviously, in this worldview, thoughts of such sex are not dirty, nor are joyful jokes about such sex dirty jokes” (89). Chinese religious thought promotes, rather than controls, sexually pleasurable experiences. The example of connections between religion and sexual behavior is somewhat unique.
One religion that controls sexual conduct is Hinduism. A foundational belief within Hinduism is found in dharma. Maguire describes dharma as a “social conscience and a concern for how our individual choices affect the common good” (54). In other words, the actions of a person must reflect a concern for the greater good. This has an interesting effect on sex, especially in the area of family planning. One description of the effect of dharma on reproduction is stated like this, “When more people are dying than being born, it was good to have more children. When we are overcrowded, dharma says, ‘take note!’” (Maguire 46). Because dharma is such a versatile and vague belief, Hinduism is able to adapt easily to cultural shifts and alterations; “this religion can be utterly transformed and turned on its head in the name of religion itself” (Maguire 47). This quote reveals an interesting point about Hinduism. It is similar to Universalism in that the very foundation of Hinduism is constantly being changed and altered based on what is good for people currently. Though the views on sexuality and reproduction in Hinduism are constantly changing, they nevertheless affect sexual actions through belief in dharma.
A more familiar religion in western society that promotes interesting sexual conduct is Mormonism. Polygamy, while not always present in Mormon families, is not an unusual occurrence in cities that are widely accepting of fundamentalist Mormon values. Polygamy is the practice of one man marrying multiple wives. For a Mormon man to obtain entrance to the highest level of heaven, polygamy is encouraged. Kimball Young, a descendant of Brigham Young (a leader in the history of Mormonism), says, “If a good Latter-day Saint were faithful and married to a wife or wives...for time and eternity, he might advance to be a god over his own world with its inhabitants from his own family” (30). For both men and women, becoming like God as much as possible is the first priority. For Mormon women this happens by becoming a plural wife and having as many children as possible, both in this life and the next (Young 444). Though most Westerners view this as an excuse for men to overindulge their appetites, Mormon fundamentalists view their actions as necessary to become more righteous and godly. Young states that “whether this was used originally as a rationalization for sexual indiscretion of another order we will never know, but it certainly became a convenient element in the doctrine upon which polygamy was projected” (445). Polygamy practicing Mormons do not necessarily consider their view on marriage as sexual, but this perspective does have an effect on sexual behavior in marriage; making it acceptable to have multiple sexual partners at one time.
Despite the arguments against the relationship between religion and sexuality, the evidence points toward inseparable connections between the two. In the same way that theology affects everyday relationships, it also affects sexual relationships. And whether through restrictions regarding sexual activity or lack of specific sexual expectations, theological views have affected sexual behavior in all parts of the world. The connection between religious obligation and sexual conduct is varying based on religion and sect, but the link is always present in the lives of religious observers.
Works Cited
Friedman, Jane. “Teen Sex.” CQ Researcher 15.32 (2005): 788. CQ Researcher. Web. 24 February 2010.
Maguire, Daniel C. Sacred Choices. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2001. Print.
New Living Translation. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2004. Print.
Obland, Don. “Review Article on the Issue of Homosexuality.” The Journal of Religion and Psychical Research. 2002:110. EBSCO Publishing. Web. 22 February 2010.
Patai, Raphael. The Arab Mind. New York: Hatherleigh Press, 2002. Print.
Riley, Meg A. “Religion, Morality and Sexuality.” Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations. 18 April, 2008. Web. 20 February 2010.
Young, Kimball. Isn’t One Wife Enough?. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1970. Print.
One argument against the relationship of sex and religion is that no matter what people believe theologically, they will act based on instinct and momentary desire, therefore removing the connection between the two. Though this argument is true in the respect that religion cannot always dictate the actions of followers, it is not taking into account all factors of religious observance. Most religions allow for faulty behavior or sins with provision for forgiveness. When a person sexually goes against what their beliefs regulate, there is usually room for forgiveness in order to remain within the faith. In Christianity, if a person commits a sexual act contrary to their religious convictions, asking forgiveness from God and having a truly repentant or sorrowful heart can easily rectify this occurrence. The apostle Peter said, “Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (New Living Translation, Acts 3:16). A similar provision is made within Buddhism. To Buddhists, the belief in karma is foundational. If an act of sexual sin creates “bad karma” for a person it can be undone, in a sense. According to author Daniel Maguire, “Performing good deeds can build up so much good karma that it simply overwhelms the bad karma…” (65). This type of provision for promiscuity or sexual “sin” is true of most religions in the world, therefore connecting sexuality and faith even by a lack of observance.
Another argument commonly used against the relation of sex and religion is that within a specific religion, one can often find many different sexual practices and expectations. Many times this is the case because the religion itself promotes varying viewpoints. For example, Universalism is all about living to be true to oneself and what is personally best for a good life. This belief encompasses all aspects of life, including sex. In an article titled “Religion, Morality and Sexuality” a representative of the Unitarian Universalist faith says, “God does not expect people to fit into the narrow cultural norms of… sexual orientation” (Riley). When this is the case, religion and sex are connected because of the many variations available within a faith.
This can also be seen within Judaeo-Christian beliefs and denominations. In stricter more traditional denominations, specific guidelines regarding sex are essential to being a Christian. These guidelines guard sexuality from a variety of unacceptable sexual practices. One such practice is having sex prior to marriage. Denny Pattyn, a youth pastor in Pittsburgh, runs an organization dedicated to convincing teenagers to abstain from sex until marriage. Pattyn states that “[faith] is absolutely critical. Teenagers themselves tell us how important religious values are in making decisions (about sex) of this magnitude” (qtd. in Friedman 778). Traditionally, another unacceptable sexual practice is homosexuality. Don Obland confirms this by the comment, “Most Christian orthodox religions which openly condemn homosexuality, categorize the homosexual ‘condition’ as ‘objectively disordered’ because the ‘same sex’ aspect...does not satisfy the biblical anthropology of human sexuality” (110). However, in more liberal denominations practicing varying views on sex is becoming more acceptable.
Maguire says that “a [religion] that looks on women, like Pandora and Eve, as sources of evil is going to have trouble justifying having sex with them; it may conclude that only reproduction can justify sexual collusion with women. That is exactly what happened with Christianity” (39). More liberal views within Christian denominations are changing the way sex has traditionally been viewed within the church. No longer is sex always being viewed as “bad” or “dirty”. Though the skeletal religious views are the same within Judaeo-Christian circles, they do leave room for multiple interpretations that can sometimes greatly affect the relationship between religion and sexuality.
Though all of these arguments against the connection between sexuality and beliefs are common, the most frequent (as well as the most misinformed) is the argument that religion simply has no effect on sexuality. One of the thought processes behind this argument says that religion only affects our relationships with people; it cannot affect sexuality. Half of this is at least true; religion does affect relationships. But as a result, it also heavily affects sexual relationships. This is done both with specific guidelines for sexual conduct as well as through a lack of specific instruction on the matter of sex.
One example of a religion with specific guidelines regarding sexual behavior is found in Islam. Islam is a religion that has very specific rules for their women’s sexual conduct. Raphael Patai, author of The Arab Mind reveals, “She is supposed to have sex relations only with her legally wedded husband. Moreover, a woman must preserve her sexuality (i.e. her virginity) intact until marriage” (133). She does so in order to protect both her “ ‘ird”, or sense of honor and conduct, and her male family members’ “sharaf”, or their sense of masculine honor (Patai 128). Sometimes within stricter Arab Muslim circles, female circumcision is one way of guaranteeing virginity before marriage. According to Patai, “Its rationale is that it either prevents the girl from wanting to engage in illicit premarital sex (in the case of clitoridectomy) or makes it altogether impossible for her (if infibulation is preformed), until her vulva is again cut or forced open” (131). This religion is one of the strictest when it comes to sexual conduct for women, and yet one of the most lenient in regards to men sexually. Patai confirms this by the statement, “when a man marries he is not expected to refrain from extramarital sexual activity” (133). There is little or no room for women to be forgiven for sex sins. Within traditional Islamic societies, they are imprisoned or killed as a punishment and a means of saving the family reputation, while men need only to repent (Patai 133). Though this level of severity is rare in more liberal Islamic circles, sex is usually a very religious issue for Muslim women.
Another example of sexual beliefs influenced by religion, is found in China. The influence of Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism provides for an interesting view on sexuality. The Chinese hold the belief that sex is good and that it is not only used for reproduction. This belief was influenced by a blending of all of the religions that dwell within China. Maguire comments with the statement, “One of the purposes of sex was reproduction, but pleasure and health are on an equal plane. Sex is good for you, and the Chinese religions celebrated what Shang calls, ‘the joy of sexual interplay’” (83). In fact, the idea that sex was a “valued gift” led the Taoists to develop “the art of the bed chamber”, which linked religious thought with foolproof sexual strategies (Maguire 83). Because the religions within Chinese culture viewed sexuality in such a positive light, sex became an important part of male-female relations. Commenting on the Chinese view of sex, Maguire says, “Obviously, in this worldview, thoughts of such sex are not dirty, nor are joyful jokes about such sex dirty jokes” (89). Chinese religious thought promotes, rather than controls, sexually pleasurable experiences. The example of connections between religion and sexual behavior is somewhat unique.
One religion that controls sexual conduct is Hinduism. A foundational belief within Hinduism is found in dharma. Maguire describes dharma as a “social conscience and a concern for how our individual choices affect the common good” (54). In other words, the actions of a person must reflect a concern for the greater good. This has an interesting effect on sex, especially in the area of family planning. One description of the effect of dharma on reproduction is stated like this, “When more people are dying than being born, it was good to have more children. When we are overcrowded, dharma says, ‘take note!’” (Maguire 46). Because dharma is such a versatile and vague belief, Hinduism is able to adapt easily to cultural shifts and alterations; “this religion can be utterly transformed and turned on its head in the name of religion itself” (Maguire 47). This quote reveals an interesting point about Hinduism. It is similar to Universalism in that the very foundation of Hinduism is constantly being changed and altered based on what is good for people currently. Though the views on sexuality and reproduction in Hinduism are constantly changing, they nevertheless affect sexual actions through belief in dharma.
A more familiar religion in western society that promotes interesting sexual conduct is Mormonism. Polygamy, while not always present in Mormon families, is not an unusual occurrence in cities that are widely accepting of fundamentalist Mormon values. Polygamy is the practice of one man marrying multiple wives. For a Mormon man to obtain entrance to the highest level of heaven, polygamy is encouraged. Kimball Young, a descendant of Brigham Young (a leader in the history of Mormonism), says, “If a good Latter-day Saint were faithful and married to a wife or wives...for time and eternity, he might advance to be a god over his own world with its inhabitants from his own family” (30). For both men and women, becoming like God as much as possible is the first priority. For Mormon women this happens by becoming a plural wife and having as many children as possible, both in this life and the next (Young 444). Though most Westerners view this as an excuse for men to overindulge their appetites, Mormon fundamentalists view their actions as necessary to become more righteous and godly. Young states that “whether this was used originally as a rationalization for sexual indiscretion of another order we will never know, but it certainly became a convenient element in the doctrine upon which polygamy was projected” (445). Polygamy practicing Mormons do not necessarily consider their view on marriage as sexual, but this perspective does have an effect on sexual behavior in marriage; making it acceptable to have multiple sexual partners at one time.
Despite the arguments against the relationship between religion and sexuality, the evidence points toward inseparable connections between the two. In the same way that theology affects everyday relationships, it also affects sexual relationships. And whether through restrictions regarding sexual activity or lack of specific sexual expectations, theological views have affected sexual behavior in all parts of the world. The connection between religious obligation and sexual conduct is varying based on religion and sect, but the link is always present in the lives of religious observers.
Works Cited
Friedman, Jane. “Teen Sex.” CQ Researcher 15.32 (2005): 788. CQ Researcher. Web. 24 February 2010.
Maguire, Daniel C. Sacred Choices. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2001. Print.
New Living Translation. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2004. Print.
Obland, Don. “Review Article on the Issue of Homosexuality.” The Journal of Religion and Psychical Research. 2002:110. EBSCO Publishing. Web. 22 February 2010.
Patai, Raphael. The Arab Mind. New York: Hatherleigh Press, 2002. Print.
Riley, Meg A. “Religion, Morality and Sexuality.” Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations. 18 April, 2008. Web. 20 February 2010.
Young, Kimball. Isn’t One Wife Enough?. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1970. Print.
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