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2011-12-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

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Utopia as an Appeal to Dialogue

2010-10-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

“Their willingness to learn, I think, is the really important reason for their being better gov-erned and living more happily than we do, though we are not inferior to them in brains or re-sources” (More 545). This statement in the sixteenth century book Utopia points to an interesting message embedded within the text. From the beginning of the book, the plot is really about the discussion of the ideas behind the Utopian way of life more than Utopia itself. Though the element of discovering the land of “Utopia” is there, Utopia as a whole is more about learning to open your mind to dreaming up new possibilities and discussing them with others. In the article “A Definition of Utopia,” this idea is expanded upon, “Utopia represents in fact one of the no-blest aspirations of man. What could be of more significance in the history of civilization than that man, since he first began to think and write, has continued ever to dream of a better world and, to speculate as to its possible nature, and to communicate his longings to other men in the hope that the ideal might, at least in part, become reality?” (Negley and Patrick 108). Utopia il-lustrates more than an attempt to expose flaws within society, it is an open invitation for dialogue between opposing viewpoints in order that they may learn from each other and help to create a better world.

Utopia does not operate under the illusion that such discussions between traditionally opposing sides will result in total agreement, nor that they will always be amicable. Rather, it stresses the point that despite the inevitability of conflict, differing perspectives should continue to strive to work together for the possibility of greater good. This is demonstrated when Hythloday’s consistent arguing against being able to share his knowledge is ironically refuted in his obvious desire to do so (He left the island of Utopia for the express reason of sharing his newfound ideas with others). More’s attempt to persuade Hythloday to speak his own thoughts and ideas, while not always agreeing with them, also indicates the meaning behind the dialogue within the story. In fact, the extent to which More reserves space within the book specifically for dialogue be-tween characters is evidence of its importance. The more they talk with each other, argue, and discuss one another’s thoughts, the more the book progresses and is able to point out the good and bad within each point of view.

The dialogue within Utopia presents multiple points of view on the world and how life should be lived. The book does not end with a conclusion as to what the “best” ideas are or even with a final winner in the discussion between More, Hythloday and Giles. That would be to miss the point. Instead, it illustrates a method of discussion, in order to attempt to answer some of the deep questions in the world. Though many people have tried to analyze Utopia and fit it into categories of political significance, the dialogue points to alternative meanings within the book. This message of conversation between people is central to the storyline and deserves attention with every reading. This view on Utopia may not seems as exciting as a more literal interpreta-tion of More’s outlook on life, however it seems to cut right to the heart of the story.

There is no question that portions, at least, of the descriptions of the fictional land of Utopia are absurd and impractical in reality. In fact More touches on this in his final letter to Peter Giles, “Aren’t there any absurdities elsewhere in the world? And haven’t most of the philosophers who’ve written about society, a ruler, or even the office of private citizen, managed to say some-thing that needs correcting?” (589). He is again reiterating that the point is not that Utopia offers foolproof solutions, but that it offers an opportunity for discussion. Near the end of the story, the character of Thomas More admits that he is not entirely convinced of the utopian ideal of life and that he still considers some of the ideas put forth to be questionable (588). Here, even within the story, More indicates the acceptance of alternate positions while staying true to his own beliefs (whether they portray the character of Thomas More or the More in reality).

The concept of dialogue between people is itself also debated within the storyline; is it profitable to do so or not? Hythloday argues that often it is not, “If a man should suggest something he had read of in other places or seen in far places, the other counselors would think their reputation for wisdom was endangered, and they would look like simpletons, unless they could find fault with his proposal” (528). He goes on to say that he will not speak to those who are secure in their opposition of his ideas by telling a story of a previous encounter with the archbishop of Canterbury (529). In this story, Hythloday presents his ideas on the punishment of thieves and is somewhat made fun of by those included in the conversation. However, when some of his ideas are taken seriously by the archbishop, the others suddenly praise the ideas presented because they come from someone respected, rather than from Hythloday. Hythloday uses this encounter to prove that attempting to sway the minds of those who are against you is a futile pursuit. It is, however, clear that he does not take this position to the extreme, because he appears content to argue his case with More, who does not necessarily agree with all of his ideas.

The character of Thomas More assumes the opposite view; affirming the concept of speaking to those you might influence, even if they are against you, “Yet I think if you would devote your time and energy to public affairs, you would do a thing worthy of a generous and philosophical nature, even if you did not much like it” (528). He understands that not everyone will be con-vinced, but tries to persuade Hythloday that he can still be of use to the world if he will only openly share his ideas. There is a bit of a tug-of-war between perspectives, with opponents occa-sionally switching sides as they come to see the other’s point of view. This statement of More’s illustrates the tug-of-war, “To tell you the truth, I don’t think you should offer advice or thrust on people ideas of this sort that you know will not be listened to. What good will it do?” (541). The two of them, with occasional input from Giles, continue back and forth for some time, each pre-senting their own case.

Eventually, a middle ground is somewhat discussed and emphasized, one that addresses the appropriate time, place and tone for which such discussions between parties must take place in order to be productive. More’s character is the one who proposes this middle ground, and though Hythloday remains somewhat unconvinced, the argument hangs in the air as an interesting proposition, “And don’t arrogantly force strange ideas on people who you know have set their minds on a different course from yours...Handle the situation tactfully, and thus what you cannot turn into good, you may at least make as little bad as possible. For it is impossible to make eve-rything good unless you make all men good...” (542). Soon after this, Hythloday is convinced enough of the other men’s desire to learn of his knowledge and experience that he begins to tell of the Utopians and their world.

There has been some question as to whether or not the dialogue within Utopia is meant as a serious discussion or rather a more lighthearted view of several different perspectives. C.S. Lewis eloquently argues that, “it appears confused only so long as we are trying to get out of it what it never intended to give. It becomes intelligible and delightful as soon as we take it for what it is—a holiday work, a spontaneous overflow of intellectual high spirits, a revel of debate, paradox, comedy and (above all) of invention, which starts many hares and kills none” (68). This again points out the idea that Utopia is not a book intended to answer questions, but to raise them and request their discussion. The story of Utopia with its creativity and debate offers a unique look into the concept of discourse between those of opposite convictions. It invites people to-gether in the hope that they can learn to dream from each other.

Works Cited
Lewis, C.S. “A Play of Wit.” Twentieth Century Interpretations of Utopia. William Nelson. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall Inc, 1968. 66-69.
More, Sir Thomas. “Utopia.” The Norton Anthology of English Literature. Stephan Greenblatt. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc, 2006. 521-590.
Negley, G.R. and J. Max Patrick. “A Definition of Utopia.” Twentieth Century Interpretations of Utopia. William Nelson. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall Inc, 1968. 108-109.

Redefining Heroism

2010-09-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Beowulf is the oldest English epic of its kind and has been read and studied by many generations as a great work of English literature. Written during the Middle Ages, it portrays the life of the hero, Beowulf, and his conquests, glory, and ultimate death. These lines come from this epic poem and describe the meaning behind the poem perfectly:

And now, although he wanted this challenge to be one he’d face
By himself alone – the shepherd of our land
A man unequaled in the quest for glory
And a name for daring – now the day has come
When this lord we serve needs sound men
To give him their support (“Beowulf” lines 2642-2648).

Many have looked upon this poem and seen only blood and gore, however this is not the actual heart of the story of Beowulf. To view the story this way is to overlook the crescendo of the poem, as if it is only an after thought or epilogue to the excitement of Beowulf’s earlier battles. The culmination of Beowulf’s life is one of the most beautiful pieces of the poem because it overthrows all previous notions of heroism within the poem and replaces them with a picture of community. A new ideal of a hero then is established: one who is both willing to give and receive assistance in times of trouble.

The tale begins with Beowulf coming to rescue the Danes from a horrible monster that is terrorizing their land. From the very start Beowulf is unafraid and confident in his ability to slay this monster named Grendel. He is the stereotypical embodiment of “heroism,” and he knows it. Unashamed and secure in his strength and skill, he claims to the king of the Danes that he can do what no man has dared do before: face the monster. His brave offer is accepted and he waits for the beast to attack. When Grendel finally shows his hand and Beowulf is able to disarm him (quite literally), the Danes hail Beowulf as a true hero, surpassing all others. Their joy is short lived however, before Grendel’s mother comes on the scene. Avenging her son, she attacks the people and makes off with a great warrior. This unexpected blow to the community leaves them surprised and in pain. They again turn to Beowulf for help, believing him to be the only one capable of bringing down yet another monster.

Beowulf accepts the worship of the people because he believes it is well deserved, and he knows that without him they would not be rid of Grendel. He begins to believe himself (even more than before) to be a uniquely great warrior: godlike. Perhaps he is right in thinking these things, perhaps not. Regardless, he begins to expect the same sort of exceptional heroism and bravery from others. Even in the face of grief he loses sympathy for those with less drive, not understanding that there is strength in the “weakness” of acknowledging love for another. After the death of a close friend Beowulf says to Hrothgar, “Wise sir, do not grieve. It is always better/ to avenge dear ones than to indulge in mourning/Endure your troubles…Bear up/ and be the man I expect you to be.”(lines 1384 and 1395-1396). He forgets for a while that all humanity is bound together and that no man stands alone in his glory.

After this, Beowulf hunts down Grendel’s mother, and he is again successful in his valiant efforts. He leaves the Danes a successful and “better off” man, for now he has won both fame and renown in the world. But throughout the entire story the universe seems to cry out to him to look at how he got to be where he is and to remind him that none of his actions were performed alone. Robert Creed, an expert in Old English literature and comparative oral traditions, says this in The Remaking of Beowulf, “So the poet retold the old tale and rehabilitated the old god by turning him into a hero…In turning him into a hero, the poet was able to preserve very important things from the deep past, things that spoke about the identity of the folk and reminded them of their old ways”(144-145). The poet tries to push Beowulf to the point of seeing himself as human and redefining heroism by himself, but he simply does not understand. The poet speaks to Beowulf saying:

O flower of warriors, beware of that trap
Choose, dear Beowulf, the better part
Eternal rewards. Do not give way to pride
For a brief while your strength is in bloom
But it fades quickly (lines 1758-1762).

From the very beginning, the point is that one man alone is nothing for long. He will always, whether as a young man or in old age, need the support and friendship of another. Beowulf’s quest for glory, admirable as it is, forgets to call upon this aspect of human nature, and his heroism can only be seen as incomplete because he lives in it alone.

Sadly, his focus only on himself later causes unnecessary danger to himself and his fellow fighters, “Often when one man follows his own will /Many are hurt. This happened to us” (lines 3077-3078). Beowulf chooses to go forward in what he believes to be his destiny, even though he is putting others in harms way. There is no hatred expressed towards Beowulf for this, simply sadness that he missed the point. If only he had allowed others to help him from the beginning, he might not have died. His actions as a young man, independent and somewhat careless, set him up to feel unable to ask for help when he needed it most.

Fortunately, this is not the end of the poem. Beowulf does die, but not before seeing community in action. A young man called Wiglaf sees the distress of his king and his unwillingness (or inability) to ask for help and responds. He goes to the aid of his king. This is the climax of the story. It expresses true heroism: to see a need and meet it, even if the one in need is convinced that they can make it on their own. And in the face of danger, to fly to the rescue of someone else for the sake of love:

But within one heart
Sorrow welled up: in a man of worth
The claims of kinship cannot be denied
He could not hold back: One hand brandished
The yellow-timbered shield, the other drew his sword (lines 2599-2601 and 2609-2610).
Wiglaf expresses disbelief that anyone would leave Beowulf to his fate, remembering the good things he has done in his life, even if the motive behind them was not always honorable:
That is unthinkable, unless we have first
Slain the foe and defended the life
Of the prince of the Weather-Geats. I well know
The things he has done for us deserve better (lines 2654-2657).

Wiglaf runs to Beowulf and helps him fight his last battle. Beowulf’s life might have ended in shame at being unable to destroy his final enemy. Instead, he chooses to surrender to Wiglaf’s assistance, redefining the concept of heroism within the poem completely. Instead of the lone warrior who saves the day, two are necessary to defeat the final foe. This beautiful culmination of the story proves the importance of being able to both give and receive aid. Heroism cannot be defined as something one can attain alone through brave exploits, but rather, despite previous achievements, it is in taking the hand of another. The poem ends with Beowulf’s death, but with a new perspective of what it means to live as a hero.

This new idea cannot help but affect the way Beowulf is read and interpreted today. No longer is it simply a story about the meaning of “heroism” in the Middle Ages, but a cause to reconsider the modern concepts of independence and friendship and how they should interact. Beowulf, when really understood, can alter worldviews. Cleanth Brooks, author of Modern Poetry and Tradition, states the connection between ancient texts and perception of the world in this way, “If the student knows how to read a poem or a novel…He will be able to understand not only himself as a man of the modern period, but also the present state of the civilization that has nurtured him”(187). To look at Beowulf and apply it to life today would be to acquiesce to its suggestion that community and friendship are more important than glory. Wiglafs words finally sum up the meaning of this great epic, “Should he alone be left exposed/ To fall in battle? We must bond together/ Shield and helmet, mail-shirt and sword”(Lines 2658-2660). Thus ends the story of Beowulf, a classic epic that continues to redefine the concept of heroism today.

Works Cited

“Beowulf.” The Norton Anthology of English Literature. Ed. Stephen Greenblatt et al. 8th Edition. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2006. 34-100. Print.

Brooks, Cleanth. Community Religion and Literature. Columbia: University of Missouri Press, 1995. Print.

Creed, Robert P. “The Remaking of Beowulf.” Oral Tradition In Literature. Ed. John M. Foley. Columbia: University of Missouri Press, 1986. 136- 146. Print.

We Have What It Takes

2010-06-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

Clare Boothe Luce once said, “Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘She doesn’t have what it takes.’ They will say, ‘Women don’t have what it takes’” (qtd. in The Quote Garden). There is no question that today women have what it takes. Today, women play key roles in many political initiatives around the world, and they continue to bring to light many important issues that without their attention may go unnoticed. No longer is the world questioning whether or not women can be beneficial or influential in the political world. It knows for a fact that they can. The political realm has recently taken great strides to establish the importance of women activists and politicians in the world, and these women have never been needed more than now. Many important issues are surfacing in the international community regarding women’s rights and these topics, though of interest and extreme importance to men, benefit greatly from female leadership and direction. One such issue is that of Female Circumcision or Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).

The issue of Female Genital Mutilation has only recently been addressed in the political realm, despite the fact that this disturbing practice has been used as a traditional rite-of-passage ceremony in Africa for centuries. FGM is the practice of removing and in some cases completely closing off a young girl’s genitals. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that somewhere between 100 and 140 million girls have undergone some form of Female Genital Mutilation (7). They also estimate that each year another 2 million girls are at the risk of FGM (9). In all of its forms, Female Genital Mutilation is incredibly damaging to the individual for many reasons and has been deemed by the United Nations to be a violation of human rights.
The article Female Genital Mutilation divides the practice of FGM into four types. This is what normal female anatomy looks like:

It states that in type one FGM (called a clitoridectomy), a part of or the entire clitoris is removed and the wound is sewn up. Type one looks like this:

In type two (called an excision), the entire clitoris is removed and part or all of the labia minora also. Often rough stitches or crude balms are applied to the wound, often resulting in infection. Type two looks like this:

Type three (commonly known as infibulation) is the most serious form of FGM and involves removal of the clitoris, labia minora, and parts of the labia majora. The vaginal opening and urethra are then sewn over leaving only a small opening through which urine and menstrual flow escape. This is type three:

Type four involves piercing or pricking of the genitals, the introduction of damaging or painful substances into the vagina and in some cases cauterization of the clitoris (or remaining wound) (Committee on Bioethics 153). All forms of FGM are extremely painful and have damaging long-term effects.

Female Genital Mutilation has been shown to cause serious physical and psychological damage to those who have been circumcised. The article, Female Genital Mutilation: An Injury, Physical and Mental Harm, reveals that some of the more serious health problems caused by FGM include infection, urine retention (because of pain), infertility, higher risk for HIV due to unclean surgical instruments or unclean environments, and painful, or in some cases the impossibility of, intercourse. The article also revealed that some of the common psychological effects of FGM include post-traumatic stress disorder, loss of memory, severe nightmares, chronic irritability, severe depression and a high risk for psychosomatic diseases (Utz-Billing and Kentenich 227). All of these are examples of the common effects of Female Genital Mutilation and are some of the main reasons for political as well as social action against this practice, no matter the good intentions behind it.

The most common reason FGM is practiced is for rite-of-passage purposes. It is seen as a way of maintaining a “calm” or “controlled” sexuality. It culturally prepares a girl for marriage and supposedly helps to “save” her for her wedding night. The age at which FGM is preformed on a girl varies by region and culture. The WHO states that it can be preformed on girls from the time of birth to the time of a woman’s first pregnancy (10). The most common age, however, according to authors Anika Rahman and Nahid Toubia, is between the ages of four and twelve (3). The thought behind the practice is that FGM is a way to keep a woman’s “honor” in tact. It is not linked to a specific religion, but rather to traditional tribal coming–of-age practices. However, despite good intentions, the consequences experienced by those with FGM have led many international activists to believe that there is a better way to provide a girl with a coming-of-age ceremony without removing her sexuality altogether and yet maintaining a sense of honor in African cultures.

These activists are mostly women who, either through personal experience or through years of research and study, are incredibly educated regarding FGM and desire to protect both current and future generations from the negative effects of this practice. Mary Robinson, the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights and one such political activist, further explains, “Female genital mutilation affects the physical integrity of women and children and as such should be condemned. In doing so, it is necessary to act with tact and patience, bringing communities to understand that their cultural values are not to be confused with cultural practices, and that those practices can be changed without adversely affecting values” (qtd. in Rahman and Toubia 1). Many of these women have joined to form groups and organizations in various countries around the world to fight Female Genital Mutilation. It is the hope that through these women’s lives, other women will be encouraged to stand up against similar violations of women’s rights around the world.

Some of these groups of women include NOW (located in Nigeria) and New Woman (located in Egypt). Frances Althaus, a senior editor for International Family Planning Perspectives, comments on the effects of these organizations, “in part because these groups brought fresh perspective to the issue, the emphasis in discussions of female circumcision shifted to encompass women’s human and reproductive rights as well as their health” (130). Althaus goes on to explain that with these new perspectives stronger approaches to the topic of FGM have occurred. According to her, the International Conference on Population and Development used the term “Female Genital Mutilation” for the first time instead of “Female Circumcision” in the Programme of Action in Cairo 1994. She states that, “the Programme refers to female genital mutilation as a ‘basic rights violation’ and urges governments to ‘prohibit and urgently stop the practice…wherever it exists’” (130). These women are already changing perspectives around the world regarding a practice to which, until recently, the world has turned a blind eye.
The WHO claims that in the past the topic of FGM has been deemed “an issue of such extreme sensitivity” as to prevent any real action from taking place (5). Slowly but surely this view has changed and others are realizing the great amount of danger in which these young girls are placed because the international community has placed this violation of rights on the back burner. The article Female Genital Mutilation: A Physical and Mental Harm cites several international organizations such as the World Health Organization, the World Medical Association and UNICEF who have condemned the practice of FGM and who have created projects to combat its continuation (Utz-Billing and Kentenich 228). Central to all of these projects is the valuing of women and children and the desire to protect their rights. In fact, it is so important that women be involved in ending this practice that the WHO has stressed the need to involve both women activists and women directly affected by FGM in their efforts. They state, “Using… women affected by FGM is an effective strategy for lobbying and education purposes and should be used more often” (45). Sometimes it takes women to bring attention to the fact that women’s rights are being violated. Sometimes women are the only ones who see the real horror of the violations.

Another example of an organization started by and run by women is the Maendeleo Ya Wanawake. Located in Kenya, this group desires to see women uplifted from all forms of oppression. The WHO reveals that in 1996 this group made significant progress in ending FGM by implementing an alternative initiation ceremony program (54). Their program locates girls eligible for excision and educates their families. The results are very positive. The WHO says, “Alternative coming of age ceremonies can be used to introduce sexuality education and life skills to girls in a way that is acceptable to their parents and their communities” (54). Honoring the traditions and culture surrounding the practice is very important. The WHO elaborates, “It is then easy to judge, condemn, and then to feel that ordering people to stop the practice is the proper course of action. However, this does not always work – as many anti-FGM activists have learned the hard way… Anyone working in this field needs to examine…their own assumptions… and work toward becoming ‘culturally competent’” (77). This task seems to be more easily done by women, especially since the issue pertains to women specifically. Those women who have been able to put aside their own prejudices have been honored by success in their work to end this practice.

One such effective approach occurred in Senegal in 1997. The book, Female Genital Mutilation: A Guide to Laws and Policies Worldwide, explains that one of the goals behind an approach to the ending of FGM in Senegal was to not only end the practice, but to empower women and have them choose for themselves to leave this practice behind. The result was amazing. Not only did an entire village of women voluntarily abandon the practice, their men supported their decision. A public declaration was made stating that never again would FGM be practiced there. This choice spread from village to village and eventually led to a law in 1999 prohibiting the practice of FGM in Senegal (Rahman and Toubia 77). This movement was led by women who, though not politicians, stood up for their rights and influenced global policies. In turn, this movement has inspired women worldwide to do the same. Whether called “politicians” or “activists” women are beginning to reject this traditional practice and turn to other ways of honoring both their bodies and cultures. These women have what it takes to make change in the world. No one can say, “Women don’t have what it takes to make a difference.” They have already made begun to make a difference.

Works Cited
Althaus, Frances A. “Female Circumcision: Rite of Passage Or Violation of Rights?” International Family Planning Perspectives 23.3 (1997): 130-133. Print.
Committee on Bioethics. “Female Genital Mutilation.” Pediatrics 102.1 (1998): 153-156. Print.
The Quote Garden. 14 Oct 2007. Web. 14 June 2010.
Rahman, Anika, and Nahid Toubia. Female Genital Mutilation: A Guide to Laws and Policies Worldwide. London: Zed Books Ltd, 2008. Print.
Utz-Billing, I. and H. Kentenich. “Female Genital Mutilation: An Injury, Physical and Mental Harm.” Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynecology 29.4 (2008): 225-229. Print.
WHO. Department of Woman’s Health. Female Genital Mutilation: A Handbook For Frontline Workers. 2000. Web. 14 June 2010.

Small Saplings

2010-04-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

Religion is a strange thing. It moves and changes as cultures shift and the people within them start to think differently. Throughout history, Christianity has undergone multiple modifications in both theology and practical application. During The Reformation, the entirety of the Christian church was in uproar over the new ideas and new principals presented by the, at that time, forward thinkers. It was a period of new discovery and a chance to repair some of the damage Christianity had inadvertently inflicted upon society.

A similar occurrence is taking place in the church today. The modern world is slowly melting away, and in its place are left questions and new thoughts. This is the postmodern world. It is a world full of questions and searching, love and new revelations. In this postmodern world, a new understanding of Christianity is blossoming into something beautiful. The Emergent Church interprets the words and actions of Jesus through the lens of postmodernism and is redefining what following him really means for today’s world.

As the world evolves and enters a new stage of life, the Church also is growing to embrace revolutionary ambitions and ideas. As a plant matures and begins to stretch to new heights and places never before explored, it continues to look to its roots as a source of strength and guidance. It does not, however, remain at the root level. Instead, it looks to experience new things and to nurture the young (and sometimes inexperienced) branches. The Emergent Church, too, looks to its history as a source of wisdom and strength, but also recognizes the importance of new growth and the excitement of going where no one has gone before. It is learning from mistakes while embracing new challenges. Author and public speaker, Brian McLaren, elaborates on this, “When our churches are schools of practice, they make – and change – history. Otherwise, they simply write history and argue about it, and of course, in so doing they tend to repeat it” (Finding Our Way Again 145). This new postmodern generation of Christians wants to write history, while trying to avoid the mistakes made by previous generations of Christians. Phyllis Tickle comments in her book The Great Emergence, “One does not have to be particularly gifted as a seer these days, however, to perceive the Great Emergence already swirling like a balm across that wound, bandaging it with genuinely egalitarian conversation and with an undergirding assumption of shared brotherhood and sisterhood in a world being redeemed” (29). This is a church-wide revolution. It does not have specific requirements as far as age, theology, or maturity, but rather, it looks to the heart of the individual and tries to meet the needs found there, whatever they may be.

The term “Emergent” often carries with it a red flag, as many individuals feel threatened by the thought that Christianity could change. This term however, carries some very special meanings and symbols that inspire the movement behind the term. McLaren explains where the name “Emergent” comes from in his book A Generous Orthodoxy, “Emergents – small saplings that grow up in the in the shadow of the mature forest canopy. In a sense, they may seem dwarfed, stunted, restrained by the shade of the mature trees but in truth they are waiting. Whenever one of the mature trees dies, the emergents are there, ready to soar up and fill the gap and thrive in the light now available to them” (275). This is what is happening. Parts of the church are no longer alive (or relevant) to the world today, and the Emergent Church has seen this death and has risen to learn how to thrive in the sunlight left behind. They are trying to find solutions to the problems that caused death in previous generations of Christianity. McLaren explains another definition of Emergent, “ Emergent Wetlands – wetlands in which semiaquatic plants grow, plants whose roots are in the soil underwater but whose shoots grow up through the surface of the water to take in the full, unfiltered sun. In this sense, emergents are plants that live in different worlds simultaneously” (A Generous Orthodoxy 276). In the same way, the Emergent Church is attempting to live in two separate worlds and bring them closer together. The spiritual world and the physical world are meeting within the body of the Emergent Church as it tries to live out the Kingdom of God here on earth.

So what exactly does the Kingdom of God look like? According to many members of the Emergent Church, it may not measure up to traditional expectations. Perhaps the message of Jesus and the Kingdom he represented are in fact in opposition to the message that the Christian faith has been preaching for many years. This is one of the foundational postmodern thoughts that the Emergent Church professes. McLaren describes it this way, “What if he didn’t come to start a new religion – but rather came to start a political, social, religious, artistic, economic, intellectual, and spiritual revolution that would give birth to a new world…What if the message of Jesus was good news – not just for Christians but also for Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, New Agers, agnostics, and atheists?” (The Secret Message of Jesus 4). In light of these new thoughts, maybe the Gospel is not about the system of beliefs that Modern Christianity has claimed, but rather about a group of values and a way of life that promotes the nurturing of these values.

What are some of these values? In a nutshell, they are they same ones that Jesus preached; love, justice, individuality and community. The postmodern Christian looks for something more than inflexible rules and absolute truths. The goal is to search out the truths that apply to them, truths that transform their lives personally, and that inspire them to live for something more. Peter Rollins, a prominent leader in the United Kingdom’s Emergent Church, simply says, “It’s not a worldview that opposes other worldviews. It’s something that brings life, that brings transformation. I think that this understanding of faith resonates with people who are tired of a religion in which believing the right thing is what it is all about” (qtd. in “Seeds of Doubt”). Rather than seeing Jesus as a “law giver” or “judge,” the Emergent Church looks to Jesus for an example of a new way of life. In this life what is valued is the creativity in the world, the subjectivity of humans and the vibrancy of diversity in all things. Through this way of thinking, these four core values take on new meaning and life.

Love is the most basic and influential of all emotions, yet it is also one of the most complex. At the center of Jesus’ ministry was love. Love the little children, love the adulteress, and love your enemies. In fact, the very reason Jesus’ came to earth was to demonstrate love. The Bible illustrates the reason for Jesus’ ministry in this way, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him” (English Standard Version, John 3:16-17). From the beginning it was about love, and the Emergent Church seeks to continue to apply the concept of love to all aspects of life and in all relationships in the midst of the postmodern world.

The next value identified in both Jesus and in what the Emergent Church seeks to become is justice. This does not mean pointing the finger at sin or carrying out punishments, whether they be deserved or undeserved. Instead it means seeing and acknowledging when unjust situations are occurring around the world and figuring out how to both put an end to them and preventing them in the future. This applies in both private and public situations. The Emergent Church does not see itself as the Judge. It continues to look to Jesus’ words for guidance, “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven… Can a blind man lead a blind man?” (Luke 6:37,39). In the postmodern world, absolutes are almost nonexistent and the Emergent Church recognizes that it cannot provide permanent solutions to all problems. They do not claim to be God.

This movement does, however, believe that it can provide help and solutions to many of the social, emotional, and spiritual problems that the world faces. They see hope in the hopelessness that is the modern world, and seek to bring it into the light of day. Author and speaker Tony Jones describes it in this way, “Contrary to many American evangelicals, emergent Christians don’t tend to think that the world is getting worse and worse until it gets so bad that Jesus has to come back. Instead, emergents think that God’s spirit is moving in the world, and our job as Christians is to cooperate with what God is up to. So you’re less likely to hear emergents arguing about the hot topics of the day, and more likely to find them hard at work, trying to participate with God, so that it might be ‘on earth as it is in heaven.’ Answers have been the order of the day in modern Christianity. But for emergents, it’s the questions that count” (11). This movement sees justice as a form of love more than anything else. According to Dr. Cornel West, “Justice is what love looks like in public” (qtd. in Call + Response). The emergents couldn’t agree more.

While the final two values previously mentioned (individuality and community) seem to be contradictory, they are in fact inseparable and incredibly important in today’s changing world. Recently, individuality has not been nurtured in the ways it should have been. Women have been oppressed simply for being women, gays have been oppressed for being sexually different, and minorities and children are abused and oppressed simply because it is easy to take advantage of them. In this environment, becoming the same as everyone else is essential for survival. In contrast to modernism, postmodernism celebrates the very differences that used to be taboo. The Emergent Church reflects this in their quest for both equality and uniqueness. Each person finds meaning in something, whether it is art, music, poetry, service or parenting. One helpful analogy of this is in the simple statement, “The Kingdom of God is like an arts colony…” (The Secret Message of Jesus 148).

We are each unique and to the Emergent Church, this is because we are designed in the image of God. We each embody certain parts of him and can learn to be in harmony with him through our talents and interests. As The Shack reveals, “A bird’s not defined by being grounded but by his ability to fly. Remember this, humans are not defined by their limitations, but by the intentions I have for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in my image” (Young 100). Providing an environment that nurtures many different kinds of interests and talents is essential to preserving individuality in the church. This part of the Emergent Church is still a relatively new growth and it will take time to see exactly what a community of independent, and yet connected, individuals really looks like.

The final value mentioned previously is community. This belongs at the end of the list for several reasons. To begin with, community cannot exist successfully without the above-mentioned values. It also is the glue that holds everything within this new movement together. The community of the Emergent Church includes both the roots and the branches of the movement. It encompasses the history of the Church and the possibilities for future generations of Christianity. Community in this context does not stifle people but strives to empower them and build them up in a supportive and encouraging environment. McLaren states that, “in that new reality, the poor and rejected will be embraced and valued and brought back into the community” (The Secret Message of Jesus 23). Author Steven Johnson traces the word “emergence” to this very concept, “Emergence is what happens when the whole is smarter than the sum of its parts. It’s what happens when you have a system of relatively simple-minded component parts – often there are thousands or millions of them – and they interact in relatively simply ways. And yet somehow out of all this interaction some higher-level structure or intelligence appears, usually without any master planner calling the shots. These kinds of systems tend to evolve from the ground up” (qtd. in A Generous Orthodoxy 276). Again we are back to the growth analogy.

This analogy of growth seems to be the best way to describe the current change that is taking place in the world today. This plant of postmodernism is growing from the ground up and is beginning to reach new heights of unexplored territory in the world. The Emergent Church is changing the landscape of religious philosophy in the world today. This can be intimidating to some, as it is just that: a change. A key thing to remember in the midst of all these blowing winds is this, “Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known into the unknown” (Young 115). This describes in one sentence what the “Great Emergence” is all about; growth in order to be a part of something bigger. McLaren describes this growth through the metaphor of tree rings; “Each ring represents not a replacement of the previous rings, not a rejection of them, but an embracing of them, a comprising of them and inclusion of them in something bigger” (A Generous Orthodoxy 277). As the modern world begins to slip away, the Emergent Church is attempting to blossom into something relevant and important in the world. It seeks to bring the Kingdom of God to earth. McLaren adds, “If you’re part of this kingdom, you begin to live in a way that some will say is stupid or naïve. (Turning the other cheek? Walking the second mile? Defeating violence with forgiveness, sacrifice, and love? Come on! Get Real!) But others might see in your way of life the courageous and wild hope that could heal and transform the world” (The Secret Message of Jesus 18). This way of life is different and strange, as is everything postmodern, and yet it is nothing new at all. This is the Emergent Church: small saplings attempting to bring two worlds together.

Works Cited
Call + Response. Justin Dillon. Fair Trade Pictures, 2008. DVD.
English Standard Version. Wheaton, Illinois: Good News Publishers, 2005. Print.
Jones, Tony. “The Emergent Church: Christianity in America is Changing.” Tikkun 23.3 (2008): 10-11. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 28 April 2010.
McLaren, Brian. A Generous Orthodoxy. Grand Rapids MI: Zondervan, 2004. Print.
---. Finding Our Way Again. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2008. Print.
---. The Secret Message of Jesus. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Inc, 2006. Print.
“Seeds of Doubt.” Christian Century 126.11 (2009): 20-22 Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 28 April 2010.
Tickle, Phyllis. The Great Emergence. Grand Rapids MI: Baker Books, 2008. Print.
Young, Wm. Paul. The Shack. Newbury Park CA: Windblown Media, 2007. Print.

The Car

2010-03-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

I had just wanted to have a break from it all. I had just wanted the heat from careless moving bodies to erase the pain in my head. It was all just supposed to be a way to relieve stress. To cast off worries and unfulfilled wishes onto someone else’s moving silhouette. To become free in the small space between twirling skirts and beer bottles. That was all. I wasn’t asking for my life to become perfect after that night, or for it to fall apart. I had just wanted one night to be.

I didn’t tell anyone my name. I was myself. I was nobody, someone who has come from nowhere and is going nowhere. The girl next to me wasn’t curious to find out who I was, and I didn’t even care what her first name was. We were just two people laughing and pretending that, for a little bit, life outside this small space didn’t exist. I left her without asking for her number. I had nothing to offer her in return. We were just dancing partners. That was all.

The night was suddenly over. I had started to walk home when I remembered the worries. How could I have forgotten those? They quickly returned, and I found myself wishing that the girl was still next to me. She would have been the perfect body to throw these away on. But I didn’t know her name. She didn’t know mine. We were stuck in this small space of namelessness forever.

The car hit. I forgot why I came here. I forgot what I had been looking for. What were worries and unfulfilled wishes to me? I watched her spend hours over nothing and nobody. I watched her spend energy and emotion over no one. Didn’t she know? I had left my name behind long before meeting her, and it didn’t matter anymore. She didn’t understand. She would later return to the small space between skirts and beer bottles, and try to forget her own name.

You Can Catch Me

2010-03-11T17:55:00.000-08:00

I am an infectious disease
Children are taught to see me
As an adulterer
As evil

The words "immoral" and "sinner"
Twist themselves around their minds
Like a serpent waiting to swallow its prey

I am a sickness
Children are taught to stay away
Lest they catch me

The gross sickly feeling
Enters their stomachs
And threatens to betray inner hatred

Preachers sell "cures"
Parents punish infected children
But there is no end
To the endless parade of "homos"

Religious Sexuality

2010-03-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

“You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the Lord your God” (New Living Translation, Leviticus 18:4). This passage in the Bible goes on to explain the expectations for sexual purity and to point out any sexual “sins.” Christians often point to this passage when teaching new believers what is and is not acceptable sexually. This connection between religion and sex is not limited to Christianity, it in fact can be found throughout the world. Religion and sex are two of the most fascinating, universally discussed topics in the world. They are particularly interesting when they are discussed within the context of each other. Often the religious perspective on sexuality cannot help but reveal itself in a serious or heated discussion of these subjects. The complexities of religious standpoints in relation to sexual expectations and actions are numerous, but they are inseparable in any serious comparison or analysis. Many people try to separate the two, so as to keep their perspectives on each one completely independent of any outside influence. However, religion and sexuality are so connected that they cannot be separated.

One argument against the relationship of sex and religion is that no matter what people believe theologically, they will act based on instinct and momentary desire, therefore removing the connection between the two. Though this argument is true in the respect that religion cannot always dictate the actions of followers, it is not taking into account all factors of religious observance. Most religions allow for faulty behavior or sins with provision for forgiveness. When a person sexually goes against what their beliefs regulate, there is usually room for forgiveness in order to remain within the faith. In Christianity, if a person commits a sexual act contrary to their religious convictions, asking forgiveness from God and having a truly repentant or sorrowful heart can easily rectify this occurrence. The apostle Peter said, “Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away” (New Living Translation, Acts 3:16). A similar provision is made within Buddhism. To Buddhists, the belief in karma is foundational. If an act of sexual sin creates “bad karma” for a person it can be undone, in a sense. According to author Daniel Maguire, “Performing good deeds can build up so much good karma that it simply overwhelms the bad karma…” (65). This type of provision for promiscuity or sexual “sin” is true of most religions in the world, therefore connecting sexuality and faith even by a lack of observance.

Another argument commonly used against the relation of sex and religion is that within a specific religion, one can often find many different sexual practices and expectations. Many times this is the case because the religion itself promotes varying viewpoints. For example, Universalism is all about living to be true to oneself and what is personally best for a good life. This belief encompasses all aspects of life, including sex. In an article titled “Religion, Morality and Sexuality” a representative of the Unitarian Universalist faith says, “God does not expect people to fit into the narrow cultural norms of… sexual orientation” (Riley). When this is the case, religion and sex are connected because of the many variations available within a faith.

This can also be seen within Judaeo-Christian beliefs and denominations. In stricter more traditional denominations, specific guidelines regarding sex are essential to being a Christian. These guidelines guard sexuality from a variety of unacceptable sexual practices. One such practice is having sex prior to marriage. Denny Pattyn, a youth pastor in Pittsburgh, runs an organization dedicated to convincing teenagers to abstain from sex until marriage. Pattyn states that “[faith] is absolutely critical. Teenagers themselves tell us how important religious values are in making decisions (about sex) of this magnitude” (qtd. in Friedman 778). Traditionally, another unacceptable sexual practice is homosexuality. Don Obland confirms this by the comment, “Most Christian orthodox religions which openly condemn homosexuality, categorize the homosexual ‘condition’ as ‘objectively disordered’ because the ‘same sex’ aspect...does not satisfy the biblical anthropology of human sexuality” (110). However, in more liberal denominations practicing varying views on sex is becoming more acceptable.

Maguire says that “a [religion] that looks on women, like Pandora and Eve, as sources of evil is going to have trouble justifying having sex with them; it may conclude that only reproduction can justify sexual collusion with women. That is exactly what happened with Christianity” (39). More liberal views within Christian denominations are changing the way sex has traditionally been viewed within the church. No longer is sex always being viewed as “bad” or “dirty”. Though the skeletal religious views are the same within Judaeo-Christian circles, they do leave room for multiple interpretations that can sometimes greatly affect the relationship between religion and sexuality.

Though all of these arguments against the connection between sexuality and beliefs are common, the most frequent (as well as the most misinformed) is the argument that religion simply has no effect on sexuality. One of the thought processes behind this argument says that religion only affects our relationships with people; it cannot affect sexuality. Half of this is at least true; religion does affect relationships. But as a result, it also heavily affects sexual relationships. This is done both with specific guidelines for sexual conduct as well as through a lack of specific instruction on the matter of sex.

One example of a religion with specific guidelines regarding sexual behavior is found in Islam. Islam is a religion that has very specific rules for their women’s sexual conduct. Raphael Patai, author of The Arab Mind reveals, “She is supposed to have sex relations only with her legally wedded husband. Moreover, a woman must preserve her sexuality (i.e. her virginity) intact until marriage” (133). She does so in order to protect both her “ ‘ird”, or sense of honor and conduct, and her male family members’ “sharaf”, or their sense of masculine honor (Patai 128). Sometimes within stricter Arab Muslim circles, female circumcision is one way of guaranteeing virginity before marriage. According to Patai, “Its rationale is that it either prevents the girl from wanting to engage in illicit premarital sex (in the case of clitoridectomy) or makes it altogether impossible for her (if infibulation is preformed), until her vulva is again cut or forced open” (131). This religion is one of the strictest when it comes to sexual conduct for women, and yet one of the most lenient in regards to men sexually. Patai confirms this by the statement, “when a man marries he is not expected to refrain from extramarital sexual activity” (133). There is little or no room for women to be forgiven for sex sins. Within traditional Islamic societies, they are imprisoned or killed as a punishment and a means of saving the family reputation, while men need only to repent (Patai 133). Though this level of severity is rare in more liberal Islamic circles, sex is usually a very religious issue for Muslim women.

Another example of sexual beliefs influenced by religion, is found in China. The influence of Buddhism, Confucianism and Taoism provides for an interesting view on sexuality. The Chinese hold the belief that sex is good and that it is not only used for reproduction. This belief was influenced by a blending of all of the religions that dwell within China. Maguire comments with the statement, “One of the purposes of sex was reproduction, but pleasure and health are on an equal plane. Sex is good for you, and the Chinese religions celebrated what Shang calls, ‘the joy of sexual interplay’” (83). In fact, the idea that sex was a “valued gift” led the Taoists to develop “the art of the bed chamber”, which linked religious thought with foolproof sexual strategies (Maguire 83). Because the religions within Chinese culture viewed sexuality in such a positive light, sex became an important part of male-female relations. Commenting on the Chinese view of sex, Maguire says, “Obviously, in this worldview, thoughts of such sex are not dirty, nor are joyful jokes about such sex dirty jokes” (89). Chinese religious thought promotes, rather than controls, sexually pleasurable experiences. The example of connections between religion and sexual behavior is somewhat unique.

One religion that controls sexual conduct is Hinduism. A foundational belief within Hinduism is found in dharma. Maguire describes dharma as a “social conscience and a concern for how our individual choices affect the common good” (54). In other words, the actions of a person must reflect a concern for the greater good. This has an interesting effect on sex, especially in the area of family planning. One description of the effect of dharma on reproduction is stated like this, “When more people are dying than being born, it was good to have more children. When we are overcrowded, dharma says, ‘take note!’” (Maguire 46). Because dharma is such a versatile and vague belief, Hinduism is able to adapt easily to cultural shifts and alterations; “this religion can be utterly transformed and turned on its head in the name of religion itself” (Maguire 47). This quote reveals an interesting point about Hinduism. It is similar to Universalism in that the very foundation of Hinduism is constantly being changed and altered based on what is good for people currently. Though the views on sexuality and reproduction in Hinduism are constantly changing, they nevertheless affect sexual actions through belief in dharma.

A more familiar religion in western society that promotes interesting sexual conduct is Mormonism. Polygamy, while not always present in Mormon families, is not an unusual occurrence in cities that are widely accepting of fundamentalist Mormon values. Polygamy is the practice of one man marrying multiple wives. For a Mormon man to obtain entrance to the highest level of heaven, polygamy is encouraged. Kimball Young, a descendant of Brigham Young (a leader in the history of Mormonism), says, “If a good Latter-day Saint were faithful and married to a wife or wives...for time and eternity, he might advance to be a god over his own world with its inhabitants from his own family” (30). For both men and women, becoming like God as much as possible is the first priority. For Mormon women this happens by becoming a plural wife and having as many children as possible, both in this life and the next (Young 444). Though most Westerners view this as an excuse for men to overindulge their appetites, Mormon fundamentalists view their actions as necessary to become more righteous and godly. Young states that “whether this was used originally as a rationalization for sexual indiscretion of another order we will never know, but it certainly became a convenient element in the doctrine upon which polygamy was projected” (445). Polygamy practicing Mormons do not necessarily consider their view on marriage as sexual, but this perspective does have an effect on sexual behavior in marriage; making it acceptable to have multiple sexual partners at one time.

Despite the arguments against the relationship between religion and sexuality, the evidence points toward inseparable connections between the two. In the same way that theology affects everyday relationships, it also affects sexual relationships. And whether through restrictions regarding sexual activity or lack of specific sexual expectations, theological views have affected sexual behavior in all parts of the world. The connection between religious obligation and sexual conduct is varying based on religion and sect, but the link is always present in the lives of religious observers.

Works Cited
Friedman, Jane. “Teen Sex.” CQ Researcher 15.32 (2005): 788. CQ Researcher. Web. 24 February 2010.
Maguire, Daniel C. Sacred Choices. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2001. Print.
New Living Translation. Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2004. Print.
Obland, Don. “Review Article on the Issue of Homosexuality.” The Journal of Religion and Psychical Research. 2002:110. EBSCO Publishing. Web. 22 February 2010.
Patai, Raphael. The Arab Mind. New York: Hatherleigh Press, 2002. Print.
Riley, Meg A. “Religion, Morality and Sexuality.” Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations. 18 April, 2008. Web. 20 February 2010.
Young, Kimball. Isn’t One Wife Enough?. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1970. Print.

Children of Tragedy

2009-12-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

“A thirteen-year-old Kenyan AIDS orphan gave away her virginity in exchange for an apple. Asked why, she replied, ‘No one has ever given me anything before’” (Guest 1). This type of desperate searching for any sign of love or even acknowledgement is common in children who have been orphaned and abandoned because of AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa. Their perspective on life is bleak, at best, and hope of a better future is dwindling as their plight is continually overlooked. The HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa is an ongoing problem. Two-thirds of the world’s global total for HIV infected people live in southern Africa; an estimated twenty-two million (UNAIDS 170). HIV’s transformation into full blown AIDS has left millions of children orphaned and homeless in Africa.

Currently there are an estimated twelve million children left parentless by the deaths of seventeen million AIDS patients in Sub-Saharan Africa. Who will raise these children? Melissa Fay Greene answers this question, “Well, as it turns out, no one. Or very few. There aren’t enough adults to go around. Although in the Western industrialized states HIV/AIDS has become a chronic condition rather than a death sentence, in Africa a generation of parents, teachers, principals, physicians... coaches, farmers and business owners are being erased” (Greene 23). Though the topic of AIDS in Africa is not new, the aspect of AIDS orphans is one often overlooked and under-acknowledged. AIDS has ravaged Africa in more ways than one, but perhaps one of the most damaging effects of the disease is the neglect of millions of children.

HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a virus that destroys the body’s ability to fight infections and illnesses. This is accomplished by destroying certain white blood cells called T-cells. These cells are the ones that alert the immune system to infection. When enough of these cells are destroyed, then HIV has become AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) and the immune system no longer works (World Health Organization). This disease is often a painful and difficult one to fight, due to the many sicknesses to which AIDS patients can easily succumb.

Some of the common ways to contract HIV are unprotected sex and contact with infected blood (World Health Organization). Contrary to popular belief, HIV can be contracted by people who are not sexually active. Some of the ways this occurs include the transfer of HIV from mother to child by means of pregnancy or breastfeeding. This puts many children, especially in Southern Africa at particular risk. The United Nations program on HIV/AIDS, or UNAIDS, estimates that about two million African children under the age of fourteen are HIV positive as of 2007 (UNAIDS 216). In Zambia, about half of the children at age 15 are expected to die of Aids (Ellis 98).

Besides the unavoidable ways to contract HIV, one of the main reasons that so many children are developing the disease is due to lack of education. “In 2005 it was recorded that seventy-five percent of girls between the ages of fifteen and twenty-four in Sub-Saharan Africa do not know that AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease” (Maxwell 164). The vicious cycle that lack of education and HIV/AIDS create is one that is not easily broken. Janine Maxwell describes this cycle in her book It’s Not Okay With Me,

“AIDS leads to poverty because the parents can’t go to work because they are too sick. Poverty leads to hunger because there is no money to buy food so women and girls are forced to prostitute themselves for money or bread. Prostitution leads to AIDS and the spreading of AIDS. AIDS leads to death which leaves orphans. Orphans can’t work so they have no money which leads to hunger and more poverty. Without income the children can’t pay their school fees and therefore don’t get an education which leads to ignorance. Ignorance coupled with free time (no job, no school) leads to unprotected sexual activities and/or prostitution, which leads back to AIDS, death, orphans, and the cycle starts to spin faster” (Maxwell 164)

The lack of education is not always a simple problem to solve. In fact one contributing factor to the lack of schooling is that the school teachers themselves are dying. One million African children have had a teacher die of AIDS (UNAIDS 177). This problem will take more than money to solve; it will take man-power. The most direct way of providing this is by supplying volunteers who would be willing to go to Africa and educate both adults and children about AIDS prevention and care, as well as general education, so as to promote further learning.

While health problems and lack of education are important issues, they are not the only difficulties families torn by AIDS experience. Emma Guest describes the toll AIDS has on children and families in Africa, “As adults die, families grow poorer. As families grow poorer, children go hungry, they grow weak and vulnerable to infectious diseases. If they have inherited HIV from their mothers, this leaves them more vulnerable still. Many grow up with stunted bodies and minds” (Guest 157). Not only are African children affected environmentally and physically by the HIV virus but serious emotional problems can also arise.
One of the primary traumas children of AIDS experience is in the death of their family members. Watching parents die is a heartbreaking experience that results in children matured before their time. Molatela is a seventeen-year-old orphan from South Africa. When her parents died she inherited the responsibility of raising three of her brothers aged fourteen to three, all of whom are HIV positive. She describes the experience of her parents’ death in a matter-of-fact manner, “My mum was always sick. Maybe since ’95. But my father was only sick since June this year and he died in July. Very quick. It was a shock. I didn’t know he was sick too” (Guest 131). No child should be left alone to cope with both the death of their parents and the pressure of raising a family.

Another primary emotional problem is that children of AIDS are constantly uprooted from their homes. After their parents die it becomes increasingly difficult to find homes at all. This has had a devastating effect on families. Stephanie Nolan elaborates, “Parents died and their children were taken in by an aunt or an uncle. But then the aunts and uncles sickened or died. The children went to other aunts, then to grandparents. The grandparents died, and then the children went to neighbors. Each move unsettled already traumatized children and eventually, there was nowhere left for them to go” (Nolan 34). With situations like this, it’s no wonder that AIDS orphans experience emotional trauma.

Some other emotional and mental problems children of AIDS suffer include psycho-social problems such as post-traumatic stress. This often is evidenced by disruptive or aggressive behavior, elective mutism (refusing to talk), suffering from depression or anxiety, and feeling unwanted. Many orphans in Zambia say they no longer feel loved and that they expect to die soon without ever being happy (Ellis 37). Such despair in children so young is quite unheard of in America, yet it is common in southern Africa. Children of AIDS are dying, not simply from physical illnesses, but from serious emotional and mental damage. Education and food alone will not improve this dismal outlook on life; these children have seen too much. In many ways, love seems to be the only effective solution to these deeper issues.

So what do we do? How do we deliver both practical solutions and emotional support to these children who so desperately need assistance? To begin with, far too little medical aid reaches Africa. In 2006, about five million people in Africa were in immediate need of the life saving AIDS drugs and only five-hundred thousand had access to them (Greene 24). If we can prevent both parents and children from dying by making sure they have the proper medication when they need it, we can begin to put a stop to the AIDS cycle. Several organizations have been created to raise funds for this purpose such as (RED), ONE, and Africare.

Another way to come to the aid of these children is for adults in other countries to considered adopting one or two AIDS orphans. These children could then be cared for by people with more financial stability, as well as have access to more direct attention for their specific needs. Another possible solution is for volunteers to go to Africa and assist AIDS health care workers in caring for the children. This solution is more temporary, yet it is still a viable option. Some other ways to help include going on an exposure trip and assisting in handing out doses of medication, educating, feeding and giving love. Some organizations offering these types of trips include Cross-Cultural Solutions and Humanitarian Project Africa. Whether donating towards ending this terrible cycle of death or going to help love orphans who have been abandoned, we must to do something.
One of the many arguments against assisting Africa in it’s AIDS crisis is that we have children at home to care for and look after. Can we really take care of our own while becoming responsible for the children of millions of others? The answer is a resounding yes. In order to truly take care of our own children we must value children. And how can we claim to value children as we sit by and watch millions of children die and families fall apart from starvation and illness? Whether this crisis is the United States’ responsibility or not is not the issue. Whether or not it is our responsibility as humans, the majority of whom are or will be parents, is the issue. We cannot continue to claim concern for our own children while ignoring the concerns of others’.

“There are fifteen million children who have been orphaned by AIDS. In 2005 the prediction of the World Health Organization was that there would be forty-three million by the year 2010. They have now down-graded that prediction to be ‘only’ eighteen million. Why is that? Is it because fewer people are dying? Or is it because the children are dying? It is the latter. When the parent dies, there is no one to feed the children. If no one is there, the children will die and the forty-three million prediction drops to eighteen million, because TWENTY-FIVE MILLION OF THEM WILL BE DEAD” (Maxwell 192). If we cannot step up and do something about this horrible situation we now find ourselves in we will be held accountable. As Janine Maxwell says, “They will look at us and say, ‘Mommy, how could you sit by for...years and watch three million people die of AIDS each year...They could have been saved” (Maxwell 166). They could have been saved. Many of them still can be saved. What will your response be? Will you continue to sit at home, waiting for the disease to burn itself out, while millions of children are being orphaned and starved? Or will you choose to contribute to finding an answer to this problem that the world now faces?

Works Cited
Ellis, Deborah. “Our Stories, Our Songs.” Ontario: Fitzhenry & Whiteside, 2005. Print.
Greene, Melissa Fay. “There is No Me Without You.” New York: Bloomsbury, 2006. Print.
Guest, Emma. “Children of AIDS.” London: Pluto Press, 2001. Print.
Maxwell, Janine. “It’s Not Okay With Me.” Enumclaw, WA: Winepress Publishing, 2007.
Nolan, Stephanie. “28 Stories of AIDS in Africa.” New York: Walker Publishing, 2007. Print.
UNAIDS. “Report On the Global AIDS Epidemic.” Mexico City: UNAIDS Publications, 2008. Print.
World Health Organization. “Towards Universal Access Progress Report 2009.” Malta: WHO Press, 2009. Print.

Oklahoma's Slaves

2009-12-03T21:40:00.000-08:00

(This is an essay that I had to write for my english comp class. Originally, I thought this would be an easy paper to gather information for, but this was not the case. In light of the fact that reliable information on this subject has been somewhat scarce, I have posted this essay. My hope is that anyone interested in this subject will become more informed through the essay and will use my reference materials as resources for more information.)

The concept of slavery is one that many people associate with the past. We assume that since we see no evidence of modern day slaves, they must not exist. If we even acknowledge that slavery is going on today, it is in reference to third-world countries, underdeveloped legal systems and cultural differences. However, in the words of Secretary of State Hilary Clinton, “This is not culture. This is not custom. This is criminal” (Clinton 2009). The painful reality is that modern day slavery, or human trafficking, is continuing to thrive right under our noses and in our very own backyards. There are actually more slaves today than at any other time in human history (Call+Response 2009). The International Labor Organization (ILO) estimates that globally there are 12.3 million adults and children in forced labor and commercial sex servitude situations at any given time (Trafficking in Persons Report 2009). According to Mark Elam, the director of Oklahomans Against Trafficking Humans (OATH 2009), the United States is now the number one destination point for trafficking, with Oklahoma ranking number 10 in the nation for child sex trafficking (Sherman 2009).

The buying and selling of people is not a new issue, and yet it has remained in the background of our priorities, undetected. In a recent article, Mark Elam claimed that human trafficking has become the number two illegal industry in the world (just under drugs), making about thirty-four billion dollars a year (Sherman 2009). Despite the fact that it has remained invisible to the everyday American, modern slavery has continued to thrive in the materialistic environment that our culture promotes. How has this violation of human rights escaped our heated debates on the sanctity of life? Could it be that we simply do not know how to identify the trafficking of persons when we see it?

Human trafficking is the kidnapping and transportation of men, women, and children, for the purpose of sexual and labor exploitation. These people are either sold from their own homes or are kidnapped with no way of returning to their families. Often trafficked persons die in bondage without ever escaping to freedom. If escape is attempted, they are often killed by their traffickers. The majority of trafficked persons in the United States are imported from various places including east Asia, South America, Africa and Europe (Trafficking in Persons Report 2009). It is estimated that 45,000 men women and children are trafficked to the United States annually (OATH 2009). This is mostly accomplished by enticing men and women to move to the U.S. under the impression that a job is waiting for them. Instead of a job, these people are met with violent captors, hostile conditions and no opportunity of returning home (U.S. Dept. Of State 2009). Other times simply smuggling people across the borders is a foolproof way of gaining cheap labor.

Although a significant number of trafficked persons are from out of the country, a number of people are simply kidnapped from their homes here in the U.S. and subjected to forced working conditions. An estimated 300,000 American minors enter the industry each year. The demand is highest for white, educated, middle class children aged 13-14 (Sherman 2009). The main reason for this is because sex trafficking makes up a significant portion of the human trafficking industry. The Department of State estimates that over ninety percent of trafficked persons in the world are female, most of whom end up in brothels or under the “supervision” of a pimp (Trafficking in Persons Report 2009). This statistic includes little girls as young as ten years old. Evidently, sex sells.

According to the U.S. Department of Education, traffickers target children because of their vulnerability and because there is an increasing market for underage victims (U.S. Dept. Of Education 2007). In a recent report, UNICEF announced that the number of children trafficked each year for prostitution alone is around two million (Trafficking in Persons Report 2009). This number is staggering. How can we be so up in arms over the lives of unborn children without equally considering the emotional, physical and mental deaths that these trafficked children experience everyday? The toll that forced sex has on a child is enormous. Children involved in sex and labor trafficking are subject to multiple health problems such as, HIV/AIDS, drug addiction, malnutrition and probable death (Trafficking in Persons Report 2009).

Though the majority of these statistics seem vague and far removed from the quiet life of Oklahoma, the reality is that many reports of human trafficking in the state have recently surfaced. The main reason Oklahoma has become a major destination is that both Oklahoma City and Tulsa are in the middle of some of the most well known trade routes in the country (OATH 2009). Meaning, that for the fast and efficient transportation of slaves, trucks full of trafficked humans have to pass right through our state, dropping off some of their perverse fare in order to service the Oklahoman demand for cheap labor and sex. In fact, truck stops in Oklahoma have become a common setting for reported human trafficking reports. Some of the most notorious truck stops are ones that we drive past every day without even glancing at what could be going on inside them. The most well-known of these are located on I 35 & NE 122nd and I 40 and Morgan Rd. (Caswell 2009). According to OATH, in 2004 the FBI’s program “Stormy Nights” rescued 13 Oklahoma children ages 12 and up from a prostitution ring operating at Oklahoma City truck stops and traveling to other U.S. truck stops (OATH 2009).

The problem of human trafficking is a serious matter that will require more than one solution to totally abolish. In spite of this, the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have one. Admitting that there is a problem can only be achieved by understanding the depth of the problem. Therefore the first step towards a solution is heightened awareness of the situation. This strategy has been adopted by many organizations and causes created to stop and prevent the trafficking of persons including Call+Response, Love146, the Not for Sale Campaign, and the International Justice Mission. The majority of these organizations work in both the United States and in the world, focusing on bringing light to situations previously hidden in shadow. The thought behind this approach is that the more people know, the more capable they will be of preventing the spread of acceptable slavery. Not for Sale says, “We need to shift to a paradigm that recognizes the possibility of slavery in order to be able to identify it. When the paradigm shifts, a new wave of activists will respond in creative ways” (Not for Sale 2009). No longer will we be able sit back and claim ignorance of a global movement. No longer will we be able to protect our own children, unless we acknowledge the weight of this danger that approaches.

The first step to personal recognition of this issue is getting informed on the subject of human trafficking, and not just what is going on in the rest of the world, but local information. Local organizations dedicated to the abolition and prevention of modern slavery are the Hadassah House (created by the All Things New Campaign) and Oklahomans Against the Trafficking of Humans. Some amazing information can also be found in the Trafficking of Persons Report 2009 and at the Call+Response website. These sources provide links to current articles, videos and government reports on the topic of human trafficking.

The second step is getting involved. One way to do this is by learning how to look for human trafficking in our own neighborhoods and lives. Some common signs of a possible human trafficking victim include: making references to sexual situations that are beyond age specific norms, showing signs of drug addiction, having a “boyfriend” who is noticeably older by ten or more years (this person is potentially a pimp), continual malnourishment, making frequent reference to traveling to other cities for no apparent reason (U.S. Dept. State 2009), lacking control of schedule, exhibiting bruises or withdrawn and fearful behavior, having unexplained absences for long periods of time, never being alone and constantly looking at the ground (Caswell 2009). It is important to remember that these are not the only signs of human trafficking and that not all people exhibiting these signs are trafficking victims. If trafficking is suspected, do not hesitate to call the toll-free Human Trafficking Resource Center at 1-888-373-7888 and report a case. In immediate emergencies, call the local police department.

Another way to get involved is by encouraging newspapers, magazines and publications of any sort to write and publish stories about human trafficking and how to prevent it. Calling or writing your elected officials is a simple way of communicating your desire for change. Tell them that we care about the issue of modern slavery and want stronger laws to protect victims. Another amazing way to help stop modern slavery is to volunteer with local organizations dedicated to this issue. These are just some of the ways that we can help abolish human trafficking. More helpful ideas can be found at the Call+Response website under +33 Ways to Respond. Take the initiative and create new plans of action, in order to bring this unacceptable industry to an end.

These are just some of the ways we can learn how to identify and prevent slavery from continuing undetected in our midst. The more educated we become, the more solutions we will be able to create in order to combat the growing monster of acceptable slavery. This is not a new issue, nor is it an issue of the past. It is a current and effective industry dedicated to the exploitation of millions of human lives. Will we allow this to continue, or will we choose to stand up and be the voice for the voiceless? The choice is yours.

Works Cited
Caswell, Linda. Personal interview. 4 November 2009.
Call+Response. 2009. 28 October 2009. www.callandresponse.com. Web.
Clinton, Hillary. “Nomination Hearing to be Secretary of State”. U.S. Department of State. 2009. 5 November 2009. http://www.state.gov/secretary/rm/2009a/01/115196.htm. Web.
Not For Sale. Not for Sale Campaign. 2009. 9 November 2009. http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/about/. Web.
OATH. Oklahomans Against Trafficking Humans. 2009. 31 Oct. 2009. http://oathcoalition.org/. Web.
Sherman, Bill. “Ex Slave Recalls Horror”. Tulsa World. 23 Oct 2009: A8. Print.
“Trafficking in persons report”. Office of the Under Secretary for Democracy and Global Affairs and Bureau of Public Affairs. Trafficking in Persons Report. U.S. Department of State. 2009. Print.
U.S. Department of Education. “A fact Sheet for Schools”. Human Trafficking of Children in the United States. Office of Safe ad Drug Free Schools. 2007. Print.

2009-11-23T09:26:00.000-08:00

The Strength of my backbone
Overwhelms the weakness of my heart
And what will it gain me?
The ability to stand alone
And shout in the face of relationship
"I have no need of you, I am independent!"

This cool hard exterior
Looks out over frozen community with scorn
And what will it gain me?
The ability to watch from afar
As this body falls against the rocks
Crushing my heart with chill

Mirrors

2009-11-23T09:23:00.000-08:00

Sea of faces
Uplifted together
Searching for truth
Searching for existence
I find myself among them
Looking up to find myself
Looking back in a sea of faces.

Sweat Shop

2009-01-31T11:07:00.000-08:00

Running, grasping, chasing, letting go
Hearts are beating
Tears are shed
Pain is inflicted

Everywhere you turn
Faces are looking at you
Summing up your worth
By a glance

Striving and begging, screaming and yelling
Sobs are ignored
Death is accepted
Pain is desired

Every time you get up
Invisible hands
Prevent you from standing
And force you back down

Sitting, staring, working, hiding
Lips are moving
Eyes are dry
Pain is no more

Tinted

2008-10-14T13:33:00.000-07:00

When will this waiting be over?
I hate the hope that I have;
It doesn't leave.
And I'm still looking in car windows
Trying to find you.

Will I never be the same again?
In the midst of pain, I'm somehow still looking.
Where are you?

Why do we love?
It's never pure, is it?
Never right, never satisfying.
And I'm still expecting restoration.

Where is the justice?
You were supposed to be here forever,
Never to leave.
And somehow, I can't let you go.

I'm still looking in car windows
Trying to find you.

Coming Toward

2008-09-12T14:51:00.000-07:00

If I could touch the hem of his garment
If I could feel myself healed
And not just imagine that I'm enlightened

I'm a barren vineyard
A murderer of hope
And the blood is still on my hands

If I could fall and not break
If he heard me when I called
If he would come when I cried

I'm an unfaithful whore
A broken window
Still lying in pieces on the floor

But if I could just touch the hem
If I could know myself forgiven
If I could look into his eyes

Then...

Joy of My Salvation

2008-09-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

Write me a song, you said
A new one, with original inspiration.
I gave you a sonnet
That sang of my broken heart.

But I was unsatisfied.
I strove for remarkable
Yet I gave you uninspired half-truths.

So I wrote you a song
One never heard before
Yet one that had been sung for centuries.

It sang of my salvation;
Of joy unimaginable.

It sang of inspiration
From every corner of the earth.

It sang of Holy fire;
Of sacrifices and miracles.

It sang of death;
And of resurrection.

Remarkable, you said.

Shades of Grey

2008-09-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

What is the haze in the distance?
The cloud in reality?
It is impossible to define
Or to conclude
But I'm drawing lines anyway

Weird shapes are forming
Stars of David and Nazi spiders
Contradicting and finding no common ground

What is honesty?
Or is it all shades of grey?
Is choosing to live in the mist
Denying myself
Or denying truth?

Lines in the sand
Writing in the dirt
I don't know what it says
Or what it means

Glass House

2008-08-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

I sent you a letter containing 'my beliefs'
That I didn't write
Didn't edit
Didn't care about.

You believed me
Trusted my experience
Obeyed my every suggestion

And where are you now?
In the Hell
I designed to look like Heaven
Reading my letters
Respecting my position

As I sit
In the window,
Watching from behind glass
Other's lives fall apart.

Alone

2008-08-11T15:41:00.001-07:00

Lost.
I was alone.
But, I wasn’t.
I had my fears.
Them, and the owl.

I’m sure they didn’t leave me on purpose.
They said they would wait.
It’s true, that they had smiled.
But it was kindness, I’m sure.

Not so.
I am here.
In the dark.
They Always said I had too much of an imagination.
At times I am sure they thought I was crazy.
Just because I could see the truth and they couldn’t.

It was not my fault their hearts were black.
Unable to see the pure.

Yes, I am different.
No, I am not crazy.

I am alone now.
In the dark.
Outside.
They didn’t wait

I suppose I got too strange for them.
I don’t blame them for being what they are, though.
We are all strange.
In some way or another.

It is quiet.
I have never been afraid of the quiet.
But I am afraid of solitude.

It is the first time I haven’t felt His presence.
No one is watching me.
And that thought is scarier than if someone were.

Where do I go?
Nowhere, not now.
I have come to realize,
That I cannot move.
They left me.
All I had in the world.
There is nothing left to protect me.
And I am terrified.

How can I sleep?
How can I not sleep?
Fear, I was abandoned by what I knew and loved.

Crazy?
How can I be?
I saw what they did not.
Yes…and no.

Aren’t they real?
Now I am unsure of what I have known from infancy.
Angels, Demons.
God.

They said I was unnatural.
A mistake of nature.
But I knew, that I was more.

And now?
Rejected.
Left alone in the dark.
Alone (excepting the owl).
With nothing.
Because I was the only one.
Who could really see.
And now…I can’t.

Secret Heart

2008-08-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

These secrets in my heart
These forbidden thoughts in my head
I hate that he can never know
Never fully understand.

I still love
I still hope
And I’m still crying out for justice
But these secrets
They can only be mine

This dream I have
This hope of restoration
To ones I left behind
I hate how it’s my secret.

And I still try
Still hold fast to the memories
I still cling to what is no longer mine.

Will these secrets in my heart never dissipate?

Blowing In The Wind

2008-08-08T12:18:00.001-07:00

What are you whispering?
I’m straining to hear you…
But your voice is too low.

What was the last thing you said?
My memory must be bad…
‘Cause I just don’t know.

Get near the one who is speaking.
Sit close to the one that matters.
Who matters?
Why should I care?

What is the meaning of life?
And in who is it’s origin?
Listening to the wind…
Are my questions being answered?

Stripper

2008-08-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

Emotion
Consternation or Consultation
When will I give in?
How long until the human soul breaks?
My breath is caught within me…
As my own body I give away.
Was this what I assumed it felt like?
My heart no longer beats…
As I run after the love of another.
Should I cater his every need?
Oh, he loves me, no doubt…
Or is there?

Laughing Matters

2008-08-08T12:12:00.001-07:00

What is death made of?
And what is life like?
Who stands in between…
On the thin line,
Separating known from unknowable?

Gone…can life be gone?
In an instant,
With no show,
No ceremony…
No goodbye?

What did I do wrong?
What could I have done right?
When will these questions;
Worth only life and death,
Be answered?

Am I truly…left behind?
Never to catch up,
With the one gone on before me?

I don’t want hope
In this surprising time of grief.
All I feel is pain
Where is my relief?

Acceptance With Joy

2008-08-08T12:04:00.000-07:00

Time flies when you don’t want it to.
When you were gone,
It was all I could do to try and speed it up.
Where are we going?
How exactly are we getting there?
I keep trying to plan this path out.
But it’s not working so well.
I dread having to miss you again.
We’ve been through so much already,
It’d be nice if it just ended here.
I’m tired of struggling.
Of making alters and laying down my will.
The promise doesn’t seem to get closer.
You are here.
You promised you wouldn’t leave.
But…what if?
I am scared,
I’m admitting now that this confidence is a mask.
Let me lean on you.
Push me up this hill because I’m tired.
It feels cruel now
But in my heart I know its what I need.
Hold my hand.
I need to learn not to push you away.
The Promise that sorrow and suffering
Will transform into peace and joy
Will come to pass in time.
‘Till then teach me to be thy handmaiden;
“Acceptance with Joy”.

Searching

2008-05-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

Believe in something
Something of your choice
Something worth believing in
Or not

Bits of truth are flying around
In one ear and out the other
And change is inevitable
But honesty is out there somewhere

2008-04-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

I have this semi-positive outlook right now
And I just feel I shouldn't feel this way
I'm resigned to the way things are
I've accepted that they wont change
And it's just not alright

I'm lukewarm
Drowning in this bathtub
That I've confined myself to
And I have no right to feel this way

Lukewarm
With no convictions
No goals
Content the way I am
And I just shouldn't be this way

I've convinced myself that I'm at peace
That this is simple restless serenity
That karma will fix itself
I'm letting go of passion
And It just isn't acceptable

I'm lukewarm
But my temperature is rising
I'm a Phoenix caught underwater
But I see the sun

Tea Party

2008-04-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

Drops are falling
I can't tell if they are tears or rain
It's been cloudy
But that isn't new

Inside the house spirits are falling
But all the heads are held high
I guess we all still have our pride

Drops fall
Life continues
And I'm the only one left

Tell me a new story
This is getting old
'Cause inside the house
they're still playing dress-up
But the tea is almost gone

Drops fall
Representing more than they are
Reminding me of souls still shut up
Coming outside requires too much
So they just play pretend

Tears and rain pound on the door
Land on deaf ears
Slide to the floor, forgotten

Life
Still falling

Wildflower

2008-02-26T09:14:00.000-08:00

Faded rose color
Within the confines of a bed.
Realizing the imprisonment
of predictability.

Stem's leaves reaching towards the sun
And finding only a lamp,
leaving dissatisfaction
and restlessness.

Wilted by "Nature's" course;
Dead on the inside already.
Water is in abundance
but freedom is beyond grasp.

Faded Rose color
Paled by the truth
That is held against her skin.

Imprisoned in a bed
Without roots to return to.
Malnourished and diseased
With artificial reality.

Faded rose color;
Alive only to those with colored lenses.

Treasure's Pool

2008-02-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

Filled with memories
Both happy and sad.
So cool to the touch
So easy to drown in.

Whatever happened to life?
Whatever happened to friends?

Promises mean nothing
When lives are no longer shared,
I guess.

Treasure's Pool is closing.
Wild flowers have wilted away.
Babies have died.
Houses gone to ruin.

What does it matter anyway?

Water is supposed to heal.
But i am afraid to touch it,
For fear of wounds reopened.

When can we openly return
To Treasure's pool?

Rain Water

2008-02-26T08:32:00.000-08:00

Symbol of rebirth;
Of renewal;
Of a second chance,

Why am i so afraid?
Why is change,
Considered so evil?

Wash over me...
Let me lie
Until covered with mud,
And Rain Water.

Blood of the Lamb;
Tears of the Father;
Tangible Forgiveness,

Why do i so resist you?
Why is contentment
So undesirable?

Pour over this filth,
Wash me clean
Until i taste no more salt.

Purify my spirit
I ask for Rain.

2008-02-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

Looking back
Over lost time
And wasted hours
I sit.

Exhale
Forget to breathe in
Drown
In the shadows under my eyes
And then sit.

Is this worth pondering
Time
And time again?

I strive to attain
Immortality
Or amnesty
At least.

Face forward
With my eyes
Towards the ground
I fall.

Yellow Bean-Bags

2008-02-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

I remember long ago
when the world was safe
And quiet
And small.
The afternoons hung thick and warm
And I could go
To my favorite place.
No one could find me
Except my one best friend.
Nothing existed there,
Especially not chores
Or dead cats.
I loved my favorite place
Where we laid on yellow bean-bags
And where the carpet was mostly dirt.
We both knew the pine trees outside
Would never grow very tall.
And it was ok.
And we both knew that our favorite place
was only an old trailer.
But it didn't matter.
I knew we'd always be friends
Laying together on our yellow bags
Talking and arguing.
And we were.
Until one day
My best friend disappeared
together with his bean-bags.
And I realized that dirt
And Pine trees
Weren't enough to hold my life together.

2007-11-27T19:30:00.000-08:00

The mirror on the wall
Displays my deepest thoughts and feelings
Through smug looks and unblinking stares.

And despite the things I've thrown
The reproach it gives me; multiplies.
And all I see is shattered dreams, amidst glass.

The eyes that stare up
From the damaged floor, keep me awake at night
Lying in a pool of blood; my own.

But the more I push my reflection away
The more fragile I become.
And the guilt dripping from my hands, creates a pool at my feet.

The shard I grasp in my hand
Destroys my dreams, my life
In one unaimed blow.

And all that's left is to wait and see
Because hope wont come back,
And neither will he.

Isaiah 5:1-7

2007-11-16T15:02:00.000-08:00

Let me sing for my Beloved
My love song concerning his vineyard:
My beloved had a vineyard
On a fertile hill.
He dug it and cleared it of stones,
And planted it with choice vines;
He built a watchtower in the midst of it,
And hewed out a wine vat in it;
And he looked for it to yield grapes,
But it yielded wild grapes.

And now, O inhabitants of Jerusalem
And men of Judah,
Judge between me and my vineyard,
What more was there to do for my vineyard,
That I have not done in it?
When I looked to it to yield grapes,
Why did it yield wild grapes?

And now i will tell you
What i will do to my vineyard.
I will remove its hedge,
And it will be grazed over,
I will remove its wall,
And it shall be trampled down.
I will make it a waste;
It shall not be pruned or hoed,
And briers and thorns shall grow up;
I will also command the clouds
That they will rain no rain upon it.

For the vineyard of the Lord of hosts
Is the house of Israel,
And the men of Judah
Are his pleasant planting;
And he looked for justice,
But behold, bloodshed;
For righteousness,
But behold, and outcry!

2007-10-17T19:10:00.000-07:00

For as the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out of my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. For you shall go out in joy and be lead forth in peace; the mountains and hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall make a name for the Lord, and everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.

Isaiah 55:10-13

Desert Places

2007-09-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

By Robert Frost

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast
In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it-- it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The lonliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is in that lonliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less-
a blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars--on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

The Red Wheelbarrow

2007-09-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

By William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

Ars Poetica

2007-09-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

by Archibald Macleish

A poem should be palpable and mute
As a globed fruit,

Dumb
As old medallions to the thumb,

Silent as the sleeve-worn stone
Of casement ledges where moss has grown-

A poem should be wordless
As the flight of birds.

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs,

Leaving, as the moon releases
Twig by twig the night entangled trees,

Leaving, as the moon behind the winter leaves,
Memory by memory the mind-

A poem should be motionless in time
As the moon climbs.

A poem should be equal to:
Not true.

For all the history of grief
An empty doorway and a maple leaf.

For love
The leaning grasses and two lights above the sea-

A poem should not mean
but be.

Speak Louder?

2007-08-29T15:05:00.001-07:00

Beautiful words;
Full of illusions
And allurements.
Drawing nearer...
Beckoning.
What to say?
What to do?
Flattery,
In these empty words.
False hope;
Do we give it up?
Such attraction,
For things so temporary.
To speak...or not.
Does it give life to death?
Beautiful words;
Full of lies and truths stretched,
Of promised dreams; shattered.
A mirage of empty speech.
Actions speak louder;
For no matter how brilliant the delivery,
Empty words do no good.

Awaken Me

2007-08-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

I've got to break free
Of this prison called 'Independence'
I've got to learn what true freedom is

Remind me that you are who i want
Show me how to count
For something more than this
Teach me that falling isn't so bad
If you are there to catch me

Revive my soul
Breathe life into this death
Reveal to me who you truly are
Awaken me again

I've got to let go of these 'Obligations'
That I have tied myself up in
I've got to rediscover that you are all I need

Remind me what the promises are
Show me your hand amidst this downpour
Before I drown in disbelief
Take my hand and help me up
Show me who you want me to be

Revive my soul
Breathe life into this death
Reveal to me who you truly are
Awaken me again

I have got to stop sleeping
When all the world is in turmoil
I have to remember
The meaning of the Resurrection

Revive me
Renew my spirit
Awaken my life, O Lord

Hypocritical Message of Repentance

2007-08-29T14:25:00.000-07:00

I told you that God loved you,
Then turned and prayed for your punishment.
I preached about forgiveness,
And called down fire from heaven.
I said God was slow to anger,
Then told you you were going to hell.

What am I becoming?
Where is the mercy I received?
When did I become the Judge?
This is the hypocrite in me.

I ate you up with my bitterness,
While telling you to 'bear the cost'.
I said His yoke was easy,
It's your own fault you're so burdened.

What am I becoming?
Where is the mercy I received?
When did I become the Judge?
This is the hypocrite in me.

I told you how easy it is for me,
All the while hanging by a thread.
I kept a smile plastered on,
While I struggled with my guilt.

What am I becoming?
Where is the mercy I received?
When did I become the Judge?
This is the hypocrite in me.

God, help me surrender.
God, give me strength.
I want to be honest.
I want to tell the truth.
Change me, make me yours alone.

Isaiah 54:1-14

2007-08-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

"Sing O barren one, who did not bear;
break forth into singing and cry aloud,
you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
than the children of the one who is married," says the Lord.

"Enlarge the place of your tent,
and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out;
do not hold back; lengthen your cords
and strengthen your stakes.

For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left,
and your offspring will possess the nations
and will people the desolate cities.

Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;
for you will forget the shame of your youth,
and the reproach of your widowhood,
you will remember no more.

For your Maker is your husband,
the Lord of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
the God of the whole earth he is called.

For the Lord has called you
like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit,
like a wife of youth when she is cast off,
says your God.

For a brief moment I deserted you,
but with great compassion I will gather you.

In overflowing anger for a moment,
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,"
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

"This is like the days of Noah to me;
I swore that the waters of Noah
should no more go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,
and will not rebuke you.

For the mountain may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,"
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

"O afflicted one, storm tossed and not comforted,
behold, I will set your stones in antimony,
and lay your foundations with sapphires.

I will make your pinnacles of agate,
your gates of carbuncles,
and all your walls of precious stones.

All your children shall be taught be the Lord,
and great shall be the peace of your children.

In righteousness you shall be established;
you shall be far from oppression,
for you shall not fear;
and from terror, for it shall not come near you."

ISAIAH 54:1-14

Keep Me in Line (Please)

2007-08-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

I have to keep reminding myself to breathe

Constantly wondering if I'm doing something wrong
Has begun to take a toll on me

And worrying that in this process I'll let someone down
Is almost too much for me to handle right now

Just trying to keep up
With the rules they never seem to run out of
Has kept me so busy
I dont have time to remember to do the little things
(like breathing)

I know we're thinking the same thoughts
And saying the same things
But in this loving that we're doing
Something is wrong
(Dont worry, they'll tell us soon enough)

I'm just doing the best that i can
And im trying really hard to make this work
I need your support
Please remind me to breathe

Excerpt from "Hinds Feet on High Places"

2007-07-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

"'By night on my bed i sought him,
He whom my soul loveth so.
I sought- but i did not find him,
And now i will rise and go-

Out on the streets of the city,
And out on broad highway;
For he whom my soul so loveth,
Hath left me and gone away.'

The Page in the little songbook ended there, and she did not turn the leaf... Had she known or even dimly sensed what it would be like, would she, could she, possibly have consented to let him put the thorn in her heart? It was too late now: it was there. Love was there and pain too... Suddenly she remembered the last verse of the sad song which she had read, the last verse on the page she had not waited to turn over. it came whispering into her mind just as a little bird began to sing in one of the bushes beside her.

'And then- in the dawn i saw him,
He whom my soul loveth so.
I found him, held him, and told him
I could never let him go.'

Much Afraid ceased trembling and said to herself, 'I will go to the trysting-place and see if he is waiting for me there.'"

*NOTE: a trysting-place is a place where lovers meet.

Reason

2007-06-30T18:24:00.000-07:00

This poetry,
These prayers,
They are like breathing to me now.
I dont have to think anymore,
As these feelings take shape on paper.

I feel so much.
I have so many emotions to sort through.
And to breathe them out,
In order to understand them a little better,
Is so much easier than stuffing them inside.

Does this at all make sense?

2007-06-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

do you know me?
are you sure?
do you really know what happened?
or is it all just speculation?

and yeah i heard you gossiping.
heard the whispers,
saw the looks.

are you aware that i wasnt the victim?
that i was as stupid as anyone else in love.
and yeah, i should have been wiser,
but will you just let me live this down?

how do think it feels,
to be the elephant in the room.
to have to wonder what you are thinking of me,
when im just being myself.

do you know me?
have you looked into my heart?
what have you based your judgments on?
were you there?
did you see how it happend?

please just give us a chance.
we're trying to make this better,
cant you see that?

Unwanted Truths

2007-06-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

Im having dreams...nightmares, rather

I see you covered in dust, still trying to make the world a better place

While you slowly fade away

You smile...seemingly in your own world

You've barely survived by pushing everything aside

And telling yourself that you are seeing something else

Your grey hair is falling out and your skin is wearing away

And I'm trying to reach out to you, but you don't seem to really see me

You are wasting away

I can see it all now

And now that you've arrived, it seems to be too late

You are off in a daze

Trying to make reality go away

Come, please take my hand

This isn't who you are

You used to be alive

The first to see past the obvious

The one who fought the hardest for the rest of the world

How did you not see it coming?

And how did you end up here?

I'm at a loss for what to say to you

I hate these dreams

Because in them i see the truth

The truth about me and you

Are we both now too far gone to get a hold on life?

Purple

2007-05-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

Its just a weed, right?
No thing of great beauty
Not worthy of special attention
Just kill it
Get it out
And then dont think about it anymore

So many excuses
For the underlying cause
To kill what was unwanted
And you dont even blink twice
While the rest of us turn our heads away

But it was purple
Deep purple
Blooming every spring
In secluded places on the ground
It had four petals
And was full of purfume
And it was worth something to me

But you dont care about that do you?
It was in your yard; your territory
And you couldn't seem to control it
Couldn't control the blooms
Couldn't control the smell, the color
It came without your permission

That scared you didn't it?
And in a world already out of control
You've created 'havens' of threats and wars

To have something come
Something you didnt invite
You cant handle something so unpredictable

But it is so beautiful!
And so pure
A memory of what you left behind
But you cant see past your perfectionism

But you can change
Let it grow
Release your hurt
And watch it bloom into something beautiful
Just let it grow

2007-03-22T12:48:00.000-07:00

Barefoot

Jesus, I just want to run away.

Run from this place.

Run from this life.

Run from this mess I made.

Yeah, I know I’m barefoot.

But it suits me this way.

It’s easier to run and to hide,

When I’m barefoot.

I just want to run.

Run down the road towards nowhere.

And to never, ever stop,

Not until I’m somewhere new.

Somewhere they don’t know me.

Somewhere I can change my name.

And start all over again.

And If I screw up there,

I suppose I’ll run.

And they won’t know where I’m going,

Because they won’t know where I’ve been.

Yes, I am barefoot.

It’s just easier this way.

Nothing slows me down.

Nothing to leave tracks.

Nothing to remind me of where I’m from

Or what I’ve done.

Jesus, can’t you just let me run away?

Just let me go!

I want to start again,

But this is just too big for me to clean up.

I just want to run.

Away from this life.

Away from these memories.

Away from my mistakes.

Let me go barefoot!

Let me run away!

Let me hide!

I just can’t fix this.

I can’t…

…But I can.

And I have to.

And I will.

Because I need to.

Jesus, will you be here?

Will you help me?

Please help me do this!

You Hurt Me

2007-03-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

It hurt when you said that I wasn’t important,

Not with those words, but with others.

You were crazy to think that it wouldn’t matter to me.

Because it does…it does so much.

I do have a brain,

One that I frequently use.

But somehow you think you are smarter than me.

Smarter how?

You know more facts?

At least I can feel.

You hurt me when you said that because of my age,

I was of no use.

No use for thinking anyway.

I’m here to tell you that age has nothing to do with ability to think.

Smarter?

Maybe.

Better?

No.

And it hurts to think that no matter how much I think or write,

You will still see me the same way.

I’m a child to you, nothing more.

Of little use, right now anyway.

But later, then what?

I still won’t believe you.

It hurts when you look at me and I know what you are seeing.

I’m the same as the newborn baby to you.

Sweet, helpless, and ignorant.

But I’m not.

You hurt me a lot.

And right now I can’t forgive you.

Maybe later I will be able.

But right now it hurts too much.

I know the truth, though.

And no matter how many times you say,

That I couldn’t possibly understand the things that you do,

I will believe that I can and do.

Because I am the same as you.

You hurt me.

Did you know that?

Lullaby

2007-02-26T16:33:00.000-08:00

She is terrified,

Of finding out what this world really is.

She is sure,

She will find some horrible thing out there.

So she cowers,

In a corner,

Crying her eyes out.

Too blind to see,

That I am what she needs.

Come to me!

Little daughter,

Small child of mine.

Let me hold you in my arms.

I’ll teach you how to fly.

She is deaf,

To my calls, because she listens too hard.

She is blind,

To the freedom I have for her.

So she hides,

In a closet,

Afraid of what’s outside.

And she is too scared,

To listen to my lullaby.

Hush now!

Sweet baby!

I know, I know your fears.

Be still, be quiet.

Rest.

It’s alright.

She is so beautiful,

But she can’t see that she is.

She is my love,

But in her terror doesn’t remember.

So she sleeps,

With fits of bad dreams,

She just can’t seem to rest.

She is too coiled up inside,

Too defensive.

Come my child, come.

I’ll protect you,

Don’t be afraid.

I am here, let me in.

You will be ok.

Rest my darling, rest.

Be still for a while.

And my love, don’t fear.

Don’t be afraid.

It’s alright.

John 4:1-42

2007-02-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

I love the story of the woman at the well so much! it represents a lot to me. just how messed up she was, and Jesus didn't care! he forgave her, and chose to minister to her even though she was a screw up. it just shows me how we don't have to be "ok" in order to have Jesus talk to us. And then, the woman turned around and went a ministered to her village! she went and spread the news that Jesus was there, to talk to them all! and that he already knew everything they had done, there was nothing to hide. because he knew. and it was ok, because he would forgive them. because he still loved them. i don't know. that is my interpretation. pretty cool story i think.
Jessi

2007-01-29T17:05:00.000-08:00

missing myself
and i cant seem to find
what it is i need to survive
~
i just disappeared
i'm supposed to hold on
but there are no hand-holds
~
fighting for something
i want to keep on
but they tell me there's no point
~
hoping against hope
our dreams for me are different
and i'm just trying to do whats right
~
i am missing myself
they tell me what i'm supposed to be
but i cant believe what they say
~
die to who i am
is that right or wrong?
i was made this way
~
i lost it
what ever it was
some lover i turned out to be
~
what does he see?
something i cannot find
i must have put it away somewhere
~
they tell me to focus on what i want
i want myself
they meant themselves
~
wishing against wishes
i cant forget my dreams
his wants, my wants
~
finding myself
i am on the path
to rebuilding a world that fell down

2007-01-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

I am fighting a fight,
That was lost long ago
~
But I feel like I'm winning
~
I'm wanting things,
That I will never get
~
But I know One day they'll be mine
~
I should stop making wishes
That will never come true
~
But I can feel the magic in wishing
~
I'm only hurting myself
I will feel pain shortly
~
Maybe, but I am, at least, alive
~
I am hopeless
There is no way to get through
~
No, my heart feels
~
I should stop hoping
My hopes will fall
~
But already my hopes are coming true
~
I live in fairy tales
that will one day disappoint
~
But i have faith they will end in "Happily Ever After"
~
Let me dream...
My dreams do not disappoint

A Poem

2006-12-30T19:11:00.000-08:00

OK, this is a poem...sort of... i wrote that is, well kind of silly. but you can take from it what you want.
Jessi

Has anyone ever felt like they are so over come by emotion they just cant breathe?
like no matter how much you want to feel better you just, don't?
have you ever felt nothing?
been completely numb?
that's where I'm at right now.
i go back and forth between feeling too much and feeling nothing at all.
did you ever wonder if you did this to your self?
if maybe you CAN help it, and you just don't know how?
Did you ever think that there could be something deeper?
I live by the rules of cause and effect,
but i cant figure out either of mine.
Did you ever wish to die,
and then realize you wouldn't be there to enjoy the death?
did you ever wish you could live better,
and then realize you can, you just aren't?
i think that's what I'm doing.
I'm unable to figure myself out.
there's something deeper, yes.
the cause...the effect.
is it me?
it it them?
is it us?
how can i stay like this?
how can i not?
show me how to change something,
without hating the fact that I'm changing.
did you ever ask questions,
that seem to lead you nowhere?
and all the sudden...i cant breathe.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

2006-12-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

Painting Pictures of Egypt

by Sara Groves

I don’t want to leave here

I don’t want to stay

It feels like pinching to me

Either way

And the places I long for the most

Are the places where I’ve been

They are calling out to me

Like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith

It’s not about trust

It’s all about comfortable

When you move so much

And the place I was wasn’t perfect

But I had found a way to live

And it wasn’t milk or honey

But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

The past is so tangible

I know it by heart

Familiar things are never easy

To discard

I was dying for some freedom

But now I hesitate to go

I am caught between the Promise

And the things I know

I've been painting pictures of Egypt,

I've been leaving out what it lacks

The future feels so hard,

And I wanna go back!

But the places that used to fit me,

Cannot hold the things I've learned

Those roads were closed off to me

While my back was turned!

If it comes to quick

I may not appreciate it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

And if it comes to quick

I may not recognize it

Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Our Deepest Fear

2006-12-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not just in some of us, its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give others permission to do the same. As we are libarated from our own fear, our presence automatically libarates others."
By Marianne Williamson
from "A Return to Love" (which i have not read)

My Favorite Poem

2006-10-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

Wind and Window Flower

By Robert Frost

Lovers, forget your love,

And list to the love of these,

She a window flower,

And he a winter breeze.

~~~~

When the frosty window veil

Was melted down at noon,

And the caged yellow bird

Hung over her in tune,

~~~~

He marked her through the pane,

He could not help but mark,

And only passed her by,

To come again at dark.

~~~~

He was a winter wind,

Concerned with ice and snow,

Dead weeds and unmated birds,

And little love could know.

~~~~

But he sighed upon the sill,

He gave the sash a shake,

As witness all within,

Who lay that night awake.

~~~~

Perchance he half prevailed

To win her for the flight

From the firelit looking glass

And warm stove-window light.

~~~~

But the flower leaned aside

And thought of naught to say,

And morning found the breeze

A hundred miles away.

Isaiah 35

2006-10-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad;

the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the Crocus;

it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing.

The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,

the majesty of Carmel and Sharon.

they shall see the glory of the Lord,

the majesty of our God.

Strengthen the weak hands,

make firm the feeble knees.

Say to those who have an anxious heart,

"Be strong; fear not!

Behold, your God will come with a vengeance,

with the recompense of God.

He will come and save you."

Then the eyes of the blind will be opened,

the ears of the death unstopped;

then shall the lame man leap like a deer,

and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.

For waters break forth in the wilderness,

and streams in the desert;

the burning sand shall become a pool,

and the thirsty ground springs of water,

in the haunt of jackals, where they lie down,

the grass shall become reeds and rushes.

And a highway shall be there,

and it shall be called the Way of Holiness;

the unclean shall not pass over it.

It shall belong to those who walk on the way;

even if they are fools,

they shall not go astray.

No lion shall be there,

nor any ravenous beast come up on it,

but the ransomed shall walk there.

And the ransomed of the lord shall return

and come to Zion with singing;

everlasting joy shall be on their heads;

they shall obtain gladness and joy,

and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Isaiah 35

Don't Let Go

2006-10-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

Don't Let Go

josh groban

I can't understand it.

The search for an answer is met with a darker day.

And we've been handed these moments forever.

But I'm reassured there's another way.

You don't have to close your eyes.

There is room for love again.

Ease the pain to realize All that love can be.

Forced apart by time and sand.

Take a step and take my hand.

And don't let it go.

Never let go.

Broken, once connected,

We were so strong and so blessed in a simple way.

So don't let me go it alone.

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below but me.

Face the truth to realize All that we could be.

Torn apart by rage and fear.

Hold onto what brought you here.

Don't let it go.

Never let go.

Turn your head up to the sky.

Nothing down below.

Don't let go.

Thoughts

2006-09-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
If I hadn't been born,
If I had never existed,
If I had just gone along with it all,
If I had been ordinary,
Would they remember me?
Or is it being different that makes people remember?

What is normal?
What is extraordinary?
Where is Love?
Where is hope?
Am I left to my own thoughts to figure it out?
Are my thoughts capable of knowing?
Or is this all a dream?
Maybe it doesn't matter... at all.

If love is something that can be bargained with,
If Knowledge isn't all its cracked up to be,
If dying isn't the end,
Or even if it is,
What does it matter?
Are we worth it?
Is hardship worth it?
Is being nothing,
Really something we want?

What is normal?
What is extraordinary?
Where is love?
Where is hope?
Am I left to my own thoughts to figure it out?
Are my thoughts capable of knowing?
Or is this all a dream?
Maybe it doesn't matter.

If love is pain,
If hope is believing,
If we all are extraordinary,
And there is no such thing as normal,
If this isn't a dream,
And Life does matter,
Then I'll take the chance,
That God exists, and i choose to believe,
It doesn't matter if people remember you or not, only that God sees you, and remembers.